The Sex Directions vs The Universe
by Kapasso
Summary: The aliens that probed Brittany on that spaceship are returning to Lima, and the only way they can be stopped is for Sex Bob-omb and the New Directions to join forces!
1. Uncertainties and Agendas

**McKINLEY HIGH - SUNSET**

Figgins had reluctantly agreed to it: a field trip for the Glee club to one of the only musical events to hit Lima in a long time. _Such a rarity, _Will thought, surveying the students as they boarded the bus. It was strange, too, to have any band with any degree of popularity touring in Ohio. In Lima_. Well, _hethought, _popularity in Canada, that is. _

Artie rolled by, heading toward the back of the bus and onto the lift that would carry both he and his wheelchair onboard. As though reading Will's mind, he spoke: "They're probably going to suck, Mr. Schuester."

"C'mon, Artie", Will said, trying to be positive. "It might be a good chance for you guys to broaden your musical horizons."

As Artie was lifted onto the bus, a voice from behind Will, dry and humorless, caused him to turn. "Hello, William."

He cringed and turned. Sue Sylvester swaggered toward him, dressed in an ink-black tracksuit with red stripes, collar up about her neck like a vampire's. "You know," she said softly, dangerously, "I think you just might be right. It's about time you broaden the horizons of these poor kids and show them what sort of life awaits them outside of high school."

Will sighed. "What do you mean by that Sue?" The patience he had for her was, at best, minimal today.

"I mean, William, that once these poor, deluded children realize that stardom is not, in fact, within the reach of each and every one of their grubby little hands, it might be good to know where they'll end up. Singing in awful independent bands with names like-" she lifted a piece of paper up, a flyer, inches away from his nose - "SEX BOB-OMB! I can't believe Figgins agreed to let you leave on this little escapade. Why, if I were still principal-"

Not that he really wanted to, but Will gripped the flyer and snatched it from Sue's hand so he could see her face once more. She looked a little put off by his display of aggression. "Well Sue, you _aren't_ the principal anymore, so if I were you, I'd get over it, get used to it, and _get out of my face_."

Mercedes strolled by behind Sue, heading for the bus. She raised her eyebrows at the exchange, then offered Will a thumbs up. He allowed himself a small smile.

Sue quickly regained her composure, sneering. "Don't be smug William. It doesn't become you, and there's no place for it here, because I'm chaperoning this little journey _with_ you."

Will blinked. "What?"

"That's right," she said with just barely the hint of a sinister smile tugging at her lips. "I put my name in the hat and it came up, luckily." She paused gazing off into space, thoughtful. "Or not so luckily, considering I replaced all the names in the hat with my own."

"Why!" Will was outraged. "What could you possibly gain from coming with us!"

"It's my way of keeping an eye on you," she said with a shrug. "I need to make sure you don't get any good ideas for regionals. And if you do gain inspiration from these insipid _Sex Bob-Ombs,_" she spat the name like a curse, "however unlikely…I'll _know_, and have a way to counter-" She suddenly stopped, sniffing the air. "What is that….?" She fanned the air over his head. "I thought I smelled bacon grease." She backed away from him, stepping onto the bus and poking her head back out one last time. "I'll shave it off, William," she declared, jabbing a finger in his direction. "One of these days. I _swear _to you." Then she disappeared onboard once more.

Finn Hudson moved down the aisle of the bus, shuffling past Quinn and Sam. They were kissing and whispering affectionately to one another. He felt bile rise in the back of his throat. He continued down the aisle, past Tina and Mike, who were doing the same as Quinn and Sam. Finn was glad the bile didn't come up again, but he was sure it was only because he hadn't dated Tina or had his place on the football team usurped by Mike. He was moving past Puck now, who sat alone. His eyes lingered on his tan friend, who sat there, glowering at the back of the seat in front of him, strumming a guitar in his arms. Finn hovered there for a moment expectantly. But…expecting what? Puck didn't even look up at him, and Finn swallowed a lump in his throat before moving on. He didn't know why they still hated each other. Well, he actually did, but it was ancient history, right?

He was beginning to realize that, since he had broken up with first Quinn and now Rachel, there wasn't really anyone in the club he could talk to. They were all otherwise engaged…except for Puck. Speaking of Rachel, Finn was passing her at that very moment. She looked up at him, longing in her soulful eyes. He turned away before she could speak, feeling the bile beginning to rise again, and he moved past her without a second glance. Finn sighed, preparing to sit by himself. It was then that he was caught off guard by-

"Kurt!" Finn exclaimed. "What are you doing here?"

Kurt was sitting on his own, staring out the window. He looked up at the over-excited Finn. "Mr. Schuester invited me," Kurt said, looking about awkwardly. "I just forgot to let you know about it earlier before school."

Finn blinked at him. Kurt blinked back before opening his mouth. "Would you…like to sit down?"

Finn was like a gleeful puppy. Kurt swore he could see a tail wagging. "Sure, man!" Finn exclaimed, and plopped down next to Kurt, who shifted closer to the window.

"OH, HELL TO THE NAH!", Mercedes' voice rang out. She stormed up to the two of them, having just entered the bus. "Sorry, Finn, but you can't sit next to Kurt!"

Annoyance crossed Finn's features. "What? Why not? I've got every right to sit next to him! More than you do, anyway. He's my stepbrother!"

"Exactly," Mercedes said, putting her hands on her hips. "I never get to see him now that he's going to school at Dalton's. You _do._"

Finn looked at Kurt, who simply raised an eyebrow and shrugged apologetically. Finn finally relented. "Ugh…fine." He moved away from Mercedes and Kurt in a sulk, going off to sit by himself. How had he ended up like this? He was supposed to be one of the popular kids! He found himself looking over at Puck again, his ex-best friend still strumming his guitar. He sighed and looked at the floor, that lump rising to his throat again.

Puck looked over his shoulder down the aisle at Finn. He ran a hand down the length of his mohawk thoughtfully as Finn slumped his wide shoulders, gazing at the floor. Puck grunted, then went back to strumming his guitar, narrowly avoiding Finn's gaze when the tall boy glanced up at him.

Santana sat in the back of the bus next to Brittany. Brittany sat closest to the aisle so she could be next to Artie, who had wedged himself there between the seats.

Santana considered the two of them. "I don't think that's safe."

"Don't think what's safe?" Artie asked softly.

"Sitting there. If we hit a bump you could roll backward, smash through the glass of the rear door and fly out the bus," Santana said simply.

Artie laughed lightly. "I don't think that could happen."

Santana _hmphed. _"So much for getting some alone time with my girl."

Brittany looked back and forth between the two of them. "Please…I want you two to get along. I love you _both_. I made a wish for you, you know."

"A wish?" Artie turned his head quizzically.

"Yes. I was going to the bathroom," she said earnestly, "and I saw a penny sitting at the bottom of the toilet bowl, like it had dropped from somebody's pocket. So I reached down there, because I thought it would give me good luck. Then I didn't know what to do with it. I thought maybe I could wash it off, but I had already pulled my pants down and didn't want to stand at the sink washing off the penny in just my underwear. I also didn't want to get toilet paper to wipe off the penny with my wet hands, because the toilet paper would get all shredded and sticky. It all just got really complicated."

"Then I remembered that I could make a wish if I threw the penny into a well," she continued. "The toilet's not a well, but it's sort of like a well that people go pee in. So I threw the penny back and wished, with all of my heart, that the two of you could be friends." She finished her speech and smiled at both of them like she had done them a huge favor.

Santana and Artie both blinked at her. After a small silence, Santana spoke first. "That was really thoughtful, baby."

"I know," Brittany said with confidence. Then she stopped. "Now that I think about it though, pulling the penny back out of the toilet before throwing it in may have caused the wish to be reversed and _curse_ the two of you instead…" Worry suddenly clouded her features. "Oh no," she said flatly, dreamily. "What have I done?"

Santana and Artie shared a look.

Everyone finished boarding the bus, all of them expressing hushed surprise at Sue's entrance onto the vehicle. Will boarded after her and, seeing there were no seats left, opted to stand, supporting himself on the back of Puck's seat.

Sue, in her seat behind the driver, turned to look back at him. "Oh come now, William, don't be shy. Why try to avoid me now? We should get used to each other's company again. After all, it's been awhile since we've been this close in proximity…ever since we were at your apartment and shared that almost-kiss."

Will just shook his head. "No thanks."

Puck glanced up, his face an unchanging mask of perpetual boredom. "Seriously? You almost kissed her?"

Sue smiled. "He almost did, my young, mohawk-ed Casanova. He was trying to seduce me with his feminine charms. I had almost succumbed…at least until I realized that I was about to share saliva with a form of life lower on the totem pole than an _amoeba_."

The bus rolled out of the parking lot. Will sighed. It was going to be one long night.

**LIMA CONCERT HALL - SUNSET**

The Lima "concert hall" was no more than a rectangular building only a little bigger than a high school gymnasium. Folding metal chairs had been arranged about the stage, and they were already filling up with eager Lima-ites attending the only worthwhile event of the night. The _only _event of the night, for that matter.

"Oh dear god," Wallace said in his usual monotone. "This place is swarming."

Wallace Wells

Age: 25

Fun Fact: Scott Pilgrim's gay best friend

Rating: 8/10

"Swarming with AWESOME!", said a shrill, high voice. He turned to look at Knives, who trailed just a little behind him, her bright eyes casting about, her long scarf trailing behind her.

Knives Chau

Age: 17

Fun Facts: She used to date Scott Pilgrim, she's friends with the band's drummer, and she's very naïve.

"Calm down, Knives," said Ramona, standing just a bit behind Knives. "It's no bigger than the bar where you first saw them play."

Ramona Flowers

Age: Unknown

Fun Facts: She likes to dye her hair a different color every week. She's also Scott Pilgrim's girlfriend.

"In fact," Ramona continued, folding her arms across her chest, "it may be smaller…"

Wallace moved up toward an empty row of seats, stumbling and blinking slowly. "Why are all these seats empty?"

Ramona stepped up next to him. "The row is reserved for the McKinley High Glee Club."

"How do you know that?" Wallace queried.

"Because the papers taped to all the seats in this row say 'Reserved for the McKinley High Glee Club'. …Have you been drinking?"

Wallace snorted, holding in a laugh, but ignoring the question. "What's a Glee Club?"

"I don't know," Ramona said.

"I heard they sing!" Knives said excitedly. "Is that true?"

"I really don't know," Ramona said. "I mean, just because I'm from the states doesn't mean-"

"Glee Club." Wallace interrupted aloud, as though testing out the words on his tongue. "That sounds really gay.

Knives laughed, prompting Wallace to turn toward her, scrutinizing with his half-lidded eyes. "What's so funny, Knives? What are you even doing here?"

Knives slapped him lightly on the arm. "I came with you to support the band! Duh! And don't pretend that you don't like to hang out with me!"

Wallace smiled thinly. "Pretend?"

"Please don't embarrass me, guys," Ramona sighed. "Looks like we're going to be standing for the show."

Backstage, where the general hubbub of the audience could be heard only as a dull roar, Scott was tuning his bass.

Scott Pilgrim

Age: 23

Fun Fact: He battled Ramona's six evil ex-boyfriends (and one girlfriend) to be with her.

"It feels great to be part of the band again, Stephen," Scott said, looking up. Stephen was tuning his own guitar nearby, standing near a set of drums, a tall young man with a gruff exterior.

Stephen Stills

Age: 22

Fun Fact: He's gay, too, like Wallace (and Kurt), but it's a secret.

"Yeah well, Neil couldn't come with us. Which you already know," he said.

Scott frowned. "Yeah? So?"

A young woman's voice from behind the drum set: "_So…_what he's saying is that you wouldn't be back on the band unless Neil had been marooned back home." The voice belonged to the band's drummer, Kim.

Kim Pine

Age: 23

Fun Fact: She used to hate the world. Now she hates it just a little less.

Her expressionless eyes regarded Scott from beneath a veil of orange hair. "But, for what it's worth, I'm glad we have a bass player. Rather than none at all."

Scott put his guitar down. "Thanks a lot Kim. I appreciate it."

"You ready to rock 'em guys?" Stephen asked lightly.

Kim said nothing. Scott turned to him. "Sorry, did you say something?"

Stephen glanced back and forth between his two band mates. "Yeah, I did. ARE YOU READY TO ROCK 'EM!"

Scott fist-pumped, letting out a confident cry. Kim just stared, wildly un-thrilled.

"Okay, calm down," Stephen admonished. "There's something I have to tell you."

Scott waited expectantly. "I don't like the sound of that."

"Yeah, Stills," Kim sighed. "He's not gonna like it. To be honest, it's not my favorite idea either. But, then again…when have I had a favorite idea?"

Stephen was about to open his mouth, when a girl's voice reached out of the shadows toward them, sounding as though it had come right out of an old black-and-white noir film, rich and sultry.

"Don't worry, Stephen Stills," the voice cooed. "I'll tell him."

Scott blanched. "Oh my god."

The speaker stepped forth, revealing herself. She was dressed in a glaringly white and, frankly, expensive-looking overcoat, her hair the color of starlight, lips red as a rose.

Envy Adams

Age: 23

Fun Fact: Once upon a time, she broke Scott's heart. In response, he broke her new boyfriend's face.

"Oh my god," Scott reiterated.

Envy's eyes seemed to launch imaginary daggers through the air. "You said that already, Scott.

Scott glanced back at his friends, then back at Envy, then back at his friends one more time. "What is she doing here?"

"Well," Stephen said, taking a breath," I thought it would be a good opportunity for the band. Clash at Demonhead was already on tour and I figured we could get a leg up and gain some popularity by playing with Envy since Clash already has some clout here in the States."

Scott looked over to Envy reluctantly, eyes glaring right back at the stunning young woman. "And what's in it for you?"

"Why, Scott, dear, it's a chance to defeat you once and for all", Envy informed him. "You see, this is no ordinary concert for either of us. The first song on the set list has two parts. One for Sex Bob-Omb…and one for The Clash at Demonhead. We'll be playing against each other."

Scott glared at Stephen, who only looked helplessly bewildered. "Wait, what? We never agreed to anything like that!"

"I know, Stephen Stills," Envy cooed. "But I asked a special favor of the sound crew a moment ago. It's already set. We'll be battling one another. There's nothing you can do about it now that we're both supposed to be onstage in twenty minutes…" She smiled. It was a flat, razor-sharp smile. "If you lose, the sheer power of the music of The Clash at Demonhead will wipe you, Scott Pilgrim, clean off the face of this earth."

"This is revenge isn't it?" Scott muttered, stunned.

Envy sighed. "Of course it is, Scott. Must I spell everything out for you?"

Scott snapped back to attention. "You weren't supposed to hear that."

Envy just shook her head, preparing to leave. "See you onstage." She took one last look at them, her gaze lingering on Stephen. Her eyes roved up and down his body, lustful. She smiled again, a predator's smile, a shark's smile. "See you around, Stephen Stills." Stephen gulped. With that, she melted back into the shadows, a white ghost, heading off to wherever The Clash at Demonhead was prepping for the forthcoming battle.

There was a long, pregnant silence.

"Well," Kim said finally, "I already had it figured that she was going to try and kill Scott."

The New Directions were filing into the "concert hall," heading for the reserved row of seats. Ramona and Knives stood with Wallace near the back of the room, uninterested, as the students passed by. Wallace, however, was _very_ interested, his man-scope on full alert. The first boy he saw pass by, a fit young man of Asian descent, was wrapped around one of the girls in the club. Wallace _hmmed. _Well, no hope there. The next one he saw pass was very delicate looking, but handsome, with perfect skin and well placed hair. Cute, but not Wallace's type. The porcelain boy was followed by another of the girls in the club, a dark skinned-girl, curvaceous and pretty. Behind her trailed a tall and loping figure. He seemed a little downtrodden, but Wallace saw those cheek dimples, that dark hair, those awkward good looks and thought, _that's more like it. _

He quickly forgot the freakishly tall student, however, when another possible candidate passed in front of him. No…not a possible candidate, a _definite choice._ He had olive skin, was well built and had a roguish look about him, sporting a mohawk and carrying a guitar. "_Shit," _Wallace breathed quietly, quickly sobering as that hunk of high-schooler stalked to his chair.

Ramona snapped out of her bored daze, glancing in Wallace's direction. "What's up? Something wrong?" She followed his gaze, settled on the mohawk kid, then turned back to Wallace, recognizing that dreamy grin on his face, those drooping eyelids. He was locked-on, target-sighted, take the shot. "Oh. Oh wow. Wallace, _no. _Definitely no."

"Why not?" Wallace said, hardly paying her any mind. "I've been dragged here, gallivanting across the continent and forced to take time off work as it is. I might as well try to have some fun."

Knives was listening to them, catching on. "Who are you looking at?" Knives' eyes widened. "Ooooh. I like his hair. And he's cute…well, in an 'I can punch a hole in your face' sorta way. And he has nice lips."

"He's perfect," Wallace crooned. Ramona smacked him roughly on the back of his head. "_Ow_."

Kurt sat and Mercedes sat next to him. Something very tall and very awkward landed heavily in the seat next to Mercedes. She glanced to the side. Finn sat there, staring ahead at nothing in particular. Mercedes raised an eyebrow, then leaned over to Kurt.

"He's lonely," Mercedes whispered.

Kurt suppressed a laugh. "He obviously hasn't gotten around to patching things up with Rachel yet."

"And you know what that means," Mercedes said ominously. "He's going to be lumbering around, trying to find a new best friend." Mercedes stuck both arms out ahead of her, eyes in a daze, groaning like Frankenstein's monster. "Beeeee myyyyyy frieeeeeeeeeeend."

Kurt couldn't help himself. He started chuckling, his eyes squinting as he laughed. Finn glanced over at them, a smile just begging to be released, ready to laugh at their secret joke. "What's so funny guys?" Mercedes quickly put her arms back to her sides before he was able to catch on.

"It doesn't matter," Kurt said quickly. "Trade me seats, Mercedes, would you?" She nodded, and the two of them swapped places.

"So," Kurt said to Finn once he was settled. "How are things with you and Rachel?" He already knew the answer, but he needed _some _way to start the conversation.

"Not so good," Finn said glumly, as expected.

"I haven't seen you even make an attempt to speak with her," Kurt commented.

"Well, the thing is…" Finn glanced up at Kurt. "I don't really want to, dude."

Kurt was taken aback. "But…that's not…I mean, if the two of you keep avoiding each other, the rest of the Glee club will need to come to school with _hatchets_ to cut through the tension that the two of you create." Kurt looked past Mercedes down the line of students. "In all seriousness, Finn, _look._"

Finn followed his gaze. Rachel was leaning forward, staring at Finn with puppy-dog eyes across Sam, Quinn, Mike and Tina. They were clearly made uncomfortable by the intensity of her stare, leaning back as far as they could in their chairs. "It's a little pathetic," Kurt said.

Finn sighed and shrugged. "It's over and done with. At least for me it is. I don't know what to do about her. She's getting really annoying. And creepy."

Kurt crossed his legs, regarding Finn. "She really hurt you, didn't she?" Kurt patted Finn's shoulder in consolation. "There, there. You'll forget about her soon, I promise you." He removed his hand, then leaned over to talk to Mercedes again.

Finn didn't know what he had expected from Kurt, but he supposed Kurt wasn't the best to talk to about girl problems. You know…since he liked guys and expensive clothes and stuff.

He wished he could talk to Puck. It wasn't too long ago that Rachel had tried to cheat on Finn with Puck, trying to make Finn jealous. Puck had gone along with it at first, and that should've made Finn angry, but then he found out that Puck had eventually turned Rachel down, and all for Finn's sake. It had meant a lot to Finn. But did it mean that, somehow, after all that had happened, Puck and he could go back to the way thing's were? Finn sure hoped so.

He also hoped that this concert wouldn't be too long. He was getting hungry. He tuned back in to Kurt and Mercedes' conversation, hoping to take his mind off his rumbling stomach.

"…and what kind of a name is Sex Bob-omb anyway?" Kurt was saying.

"Dude!" Finn leaned over to Kurt, eyes wide with disbelief. "You don't know what a bob-omb is!"

Kurt was amused at Finn's vehement reaction. "Should I…?"

"Bob-ombs are from Super Mario Brothers!" Finn practically shouted. "You've _never _played Super Mario Brothers? They're, like, the greatest games of all time!"

"Well, I have played a little…" Kurt said, "but I've never in my life heard of a bob-omb. And what do they have to do with sex?"

Puck, sitting past an empty seat, Mr. Schuester, Coach Sylvester and another empty seat, heard Finn's wild exclamations. He found himself listening in, vaguely amused. He stole a glance down the aisle at Finn and thought he felt…something. But what?

The room was filled with the invisible energy of longing stares crisscrossing through the subspace highways of people's minds. Ramona, who sometimes used these highways herself, delivering packages for , detected them easily, and raised both eyebrows. _So much drama, _she thought.

Rachel stared intensely at Finn, who stole glances at Puck, who was in turn was stared lustily at by both Wallace and Knives.

Ramona was vaguely amused…until Clash at Demonhead (to her surprise) and Sex Bob-Omb took to the stage. Soon, her own longing gaze joined the tangled crisscross of energy when Scott came into view. He locked eyes with her across the auditorium and smiled, though he was clearly nervous. She tried to send her support across the subspace highway. _You'll do great Scott, _she thought. _Your band sucks, but you'll do great. _

The lights were dimming. At the edge of the reserved Glee Club seats, both Santana and Artie noticed Brittany looking about nervously.

"What's wrong, baby?" Artie asked soothingly.

"I think I might have really cursed us," she said apologetically.

A smile started to show on Artie's face. Santana shook her head at him discreetly, and his smile disappeared as quickly as it came.

"Why, Britt? What's up?" Santana asked seriously.

"It's just, I've got this weird feeling. It's sort of like an upset stomach," Brittany tried to explain. "It was the same feeling I had right before it happened last time."

"Before what happened last time?" Artie said curiously.

Brittany took a deep breath. "Last time the spaceship came. The spaceship where I was probed."


	2. A Dream?

**LIMA "CONCERT HALL" - NIGHT**

Santana raised an eyebrow at Brittany. "Aliens aren't real, hun."

"They're real," Brittany said flatly. "And they probed me and they're coming back and I can feel it oh god." She cupped her face in her hands.

Artie squeezed Brittany's hand and leaned forward, trying to look into her eyes. "Baby it's going to be okay, _I promise_."

Brittany just shook her head. "Your promises still don't alter the fact that they'll be here soon. We should all be ready."

Envy strode onto the stage with the rest of her band, locking her glittering eyes with Stephen's for a moment before shooting another withering death glare at the perturbed, flabbergasted and wholly unprepared Scott. Stephen just shivered.

"Let's show them what it's all about, boys!" Envy exclaimed, voice unwavering in it's sheer sexiness. Demonhead began to play, launching a very well-tuned wall of sound.

"Let's rock, Kim," Stephen said in determination. "Envy won't destroy Scott if we can help it!"

"Well," Kim muttered, "at least not tonight."

"Why aren't I included in the rallying cry!" Scott whined. "I can play, too! You don't have to protect me!"

Stephen and Kim whirled on him in unison. "THEN SHUT UP AND PLAY!" Sex Bob-omb flew into action, their own music countering Demonhead's.

**PUCK**

Puck watched the show in fascination. The notes were fierce, aggressive even. He ran his fingers up and down his guitar, following silently. It kept his mind from wandering over to Finn, who could do whatever he wanted without him needing to worry about it. Really. Like it mattered.

He frowned ahead at the stage. Was it his imagination or could he..._see_ the notes smashing into one another between the two bands? He could. He could see them. Puck whistled, impressed, and wondered idly if someone had slipped something into his food earlier that day. He wanted to know what this amazing stuff was.

**KURT**

"_I'll break you into pieces_..." Envy sang, "_Feed you to my nieces_..."

"Her voice is practically angelic," Kurt decided aloud. "Although this song is unconscionably terrible." Mercedes nodded her agreement.

Stephen was singing now. Mercedes listened, bemused. "That guitar player, though...he's not really that good." She let out a chuckle.

Kurt placed his elbows on his knees and rested his chin atop his laced fingers. "I concur. He's..." He found his eyes unable to move from the guitar player and his rough features. "...horrible. His voice is very raw. Sounds like he might have potential, though."

Mercedes looked over at Kurt in response to his detached, distant voice. "Are you...okay?"

Kurt snapped to attention and sat up primly. "Yes, Mercedes, I'm perfectly alright."

"This song is pretty bad," Finn commented. Mercedes jumped at the sound of Finn's voice. She'd forgotten he was there. "But their drummer is really good," he continued.

Finn caught himself looking over at Puck again. There was some pale, dark haired guy squeezing between seats, approaching Puck from behind. Finn wasn't sure what was going on, but it looked like...Finn raised both eyebrows as the dark haired guy put a hand on Puck's shoulder.

**RAMONA**

Ramona looked on in awe as Scott launched strings of finger-tearing notes at the Demonheads. _If Envy wasn't careful_, Ramona thought, _her plan just might backfire._

Suddenly, something at the back of Ramona's mind was just...gone. It took her a moment, but she realized, with a shock, that it was her subspace sense. It was just suddenly _missing_. Something terrible had to have happened for that to occur. Someone was interfering. Something was going to go horribly WRONG in the next few moments, she just _knew_ it. A sense of foreboding filled her. She turned to Knives and Wallace to warn them. She stopped, blinking. "Knives? Where's Wallace?"

Knives nodded ahead, over toward the seats. "I think he went over to hit on that boy."

_Oh no_, Ramona thought. _Now is not the time! _"Knives, something bad is going to happen."

"Something bad?" Knives glanced over at her, brow furrowed, a rare look for her. "What do we do?"

"Nothing yet," Ramona said carefully. "Just don't be caught off guard. Keep your eyes open"

Knives gave Ramona a grave nod, hands drifting to the twin Ninja Sai she kept concealed at the small of her back, tucked into her belt beneath her shirt. Ramona gripped the strap of her satchel, where her own concealed "just-in-case" weapon remained hidden.

**PUCK**

Puck was surprised as a hand touched his shoulder. He kept his cool, like always, because he was a total badass, of course. He turned slowly, nonchalantly, to address whoever it was who dared...

"I'm Wallace," a dark haired young man said. He dropped to a crouch behind Puck's seat.

"Okay, I don't care," Puck said simply. "Why are you bugging me?"

Wallace just smiled and nodded up to the stage. "You like them? I think they suck."

"They're alright," Puck said, fingers still ghosting over his guitar strings.

"I'm the bass player's best friend," Wallace said.

"He's actually kind of awesome," Puck remarked.

Wallace nodded. "I think so, too. What's your name?"

"Name's Puck," Puck said, face still carefully bored.

Wallace made a face. "_Puck_? Puck is your name? What does that even mean?"

Puck's expression darkened dangerously. "Okay, seriously. Number one, if you've gotta problem with my name, then you're gonna have a problem figuring out a way to digest your own _teeth_. Number two, why are you even talking to me?"

Wallace smirked. "It's probably because I think you're hot."

Puck blinked at him in utter surprise. This guy sure had some balls, coming up and talking to him like that. He had to give him credit.

"Well I think I'm hot, too." Puck replied . "So?"

"So it looks like we've got at least _one_ thing in common," Wallace persisted, undaunted.

Puck smirked. Not bad, this guy.

**FINN**

Finn glared down the aisle. Was that guy hitting on Puck? What were they doing? Were they actually talking and stuff? Why did Finn even care anyway? He didn't care. He was just confused and curious about what was going on. That was it. But it didn't explain why he felt like forcibly ripping the dark-haired young man's hand from Puck's shoulder. Why did everything have to be so complicated and hard to figure out?

**WILL**

Will couldn't help but smile and tap his foot along to the music. Sue, though, was regarding the stage with a look of-

"UTTER HORROR", she exclaimed in a voice somewhere between a growl and a shout. "They sound like a strung-together tangle of empty cans being dragged across sandpaper and nails and glass and everything else I use to torture trespassers I find on my property!"

Will wasn't displeased to find Sue, well...displeased. "They aren't that bad Sue", he said loudly over the music. "They have heart. Too bad you can't say the same."

Will was, in fact, gathering ideas he could use for the next New Directions show. A battle of voices, like the mash-ups, but for all to see. That would definitely get people excited. He was also curious to see how this song might sound if it were sung by one of his students rather than that guitar player with the rough voice.

**FINN**

Finn sighed and looked at the ceiling, trying to relax. He closed his eyes. It was then that there was a tremendous, cacophonous RIPPING sound, the cracking of stone- there was a lot of cold air on his face suddenly. Finn eyes snapped open as the music on the stage begin to grind clumsily to a halt.

Although Finn generally had a dim understanding of the events unfolding around him, this was completely beyond him. The entire ceiling of the "concert hall" was simply missing, torn free, the walls jagged and warped oddly at the top, as though some invisible hand had just reached down and _pulled_.

"Dude, did I fall asleep?" Finn asked aloud. He glanced over to Kurt and Mercedes, who were staring up at the ceiling, open-mouthed. In fact, most people in the audience were simply stunned into silence.

"Dude, Kurt!" He yelled. " Kurt, am I dreaming! Wake me up, dude!"

**ENVY**

As the roof was ripped free, Envy stopped singing, a look of irritation enveloping her face, thinking that the sheer power of Sex Bob-omb's music had accomplished this impressive feat. She soon realized, however, that this was not the case. An expansive shape appeared above, eclipsing the stars. It was metallic, smooth and…saucer-like?

"Well, isn't this an interesting turn of events," Envy said, though one would've been able to tell, by the tone of her voice, that she didn't find it interesting at all. Rather, she found it to be a major inconvenience.

Across the stage, Scott dropped his guitar, slack jawed. Kim had a similar reaction, her drumsticks clattering to the floor by her feet. Stephen managed to remain reasonably level-headed, hanging onto his instrument, frowning up at the otherworldly vessel.

Envy looked at them and realized that now was her chance, everyone else in the audience otherwise occupied. This was it. She'd finally have her revenge. She, with microphone in hand, crouched in a runner's pose then sprang forward, ZOOMING toward Scott. Stephen's eyes flicked toward her...

In the next few moments, everything happened all too quickly. Envy skidded to a stop within a few feet of Scott before he had recovered from the shock of the UFO above them. She brought the microphone to her glistening red lips and belted a powerful, long note, sending ripples of sound, distorting the air, flying straight at Scott. Stephen was there, though, jumping in front of Scott with his guitar. He sang out a note as well, and played a scathing shred of strings that SLAMMED into Envy's own barrage, meeting halfway between them. The missiles of sound EXPLODED, tearing the stage into jagged wooden splinters and sending a shockwave cutting across the audience-

**WALLACE**

Wallace managed to tear his gaze away from Puck's alluring, smirking face in time to see a wave of rippling air headed right for them. He grabbed Puck, scrunching his shirt in his hands, giving him an instant to notice more skin below Puck's collarbone as it was exposed. Then he pulled him, folding chair and all, down to the floor with a clatter.

"Hey!" Puck shouted. "What the hell do you think you're doing!"

"Unfortunately," Wallace said, "not what you think."

**WILL**

Will's eyes widened as the stage practically exploded. The shockwave was coming-

Sue reached over, gripping Will by the shoulders and yanked him to his feet. He was completely unprepared and, thus, unable to react as Sue held him in front of her, using him as a human shield. The rippling air SMASHED into them-

**SEX BOB-OMB**

Scott, Stephen, Kim and Envy were all thrown different directions as though they weighed no more than pebbles. Stephen's head hit something hard, and everything was black.

**WILL**

-Will and Sue flew through the air, spiraling-

**RAMONA**

-Ramona and Knives braced themselves. Ramona was preparing to leap over the shockwave when she saw both chaperones of the high school glee club, the man with the stiff, curly hair and the middle-aged blonde woman in the tracksuit, come spinning toward her, gripping each other's arms as though they were in some bizarre, mid-air dance.

"Ramona!" Knives yelled needlessly. "Look out!"

Ramona was looking out, that was for sure, but there was no time. She was hit broadside by the two spiraling teachers, knocked her off her feet, and sent flying toward the back of the "concert hall". Knives was already on the move when Ramona was struck, putting her hands up and bracing against Ramona's back. She slid across the reflective floor, shoes squeaking, until all four of them collapsed in a heap against the back wall.

Knives groaned. "That hurt. So, so much."

**KURT**

"FINN, LET GO OF ME!" Kurt yelled.

Finn was shaking Kurt with his large, clumsy hands, yelling things like "I don't want to sleep anymore!"

Kurt finally managed to tear himself out of Finn's hands, pushing the larger boy away from him. Kurt tipped forward when Finn's weight gave way, falling to the floor just in time to avoid the shockwave. Mercedes wasn't so lucky, caught completely unsuspecting. She was knocked away, off to somewhere Kurt couldn't see. Someone else, hit by the blast, sailed over Kurt, causing their foot to clip him in the side of the head. His world was spinning and going dark, a hellish merry-go-round of blended color and flying bodies. He blacked out, but not before he saw pieces of the walls collapsing in toward them. He hit the floor hard.

**FINN - MOMENTS LATER**

Finn's ears were ringing, and his head was spinning more than usual. He pulled himself up off the floor onto his knees, glancing around and looking for all the world like a prairie dog on alert. A haze of dust hung in the air, and jagged pieces of stage and wall jutted up from the floor, creating an entirely new landscape.

**FINN'S BRAIN - SAME TIME**

Dude, I can't see anyone. There's all this pointy stuff everywhere, and...this dream is getting way too crazy for me to handle. I wonder if I kill myself while I'm dreaming if I'll wake up, like in that one movie with the guy from Titanic in it. There's a piece of glass right there...no, this feels too real to be a dream, but it's so weird at the same time! I better put this thing down before I hurt myself... Like, where the heck did Kurt and Mercedes go? What happened to the band? The stage is all screwed up. I thought I saw Mercedes fly away. That would be weird if she could fly. But it wouldn't be weird if this was a dream, right? Can I fly?

**OUTSIDE FINN'S BRAIN - MOMENTS LATER**

Puck pulled himself up from the ground, shrugging that Wallace guy off of him. He gingerly lifted his guitar, relieved to find it unharmed. What the hell had just happened? He looked up at the gleaming craft hovering over the torn "concert hall".

"That's totally not a spaceship," Puck said breathlessly. "Cuz if it were, I'd be crazy, and the Puckmeister isn't crazy."

Wallace stood up next to him. "If the Puckmeister kept talking to himself I'm sure that would be up for debate."

Puck turned at the sound of Wallace's voice. "Thanks for saving me", Puck said with a shrug. "So, I guess I owe you or something."

Wallace smiled flatly. "Don't mention it." There was a pause. "Seriously, don't. I occasionally perform selfless deeds but, when I do, I try to keep it on the down low."

It took Puck a moment before he saw Finn a short distance off to the left, hopping up and down, waving his arms with a strained but determined look on his face. Puck frowned, slung his guitar strap over his shoulder, and waded through debris toward him.

Wallace trailed just a bit behind, looking around with an utterly unimpressed expression. "Well, this certainly takes the prize for the most random night of my life ever. And that's saying something. I really did _not_ want to come on this stupid tour..."

"Hey, loser," Puck said upon reaching his used-to-be-friend, Finn, "what are you doing?"

"I'm trying to fly, what the hell do you think?" Finn said.

"He's in shock," Wallace stated, stepping forward. "Allow me." He lifted a hand...and promptly slapped Finn roughly across the face.

"Ow, what the hell, man!" Finn exclaimed, rubbing his jaw.

"I know." Wallace said. "I slap like a bitch. I'm Wallace. I would say it's a pleasure, but the building collapsed so that would be a lie."

"You aren't real," Finn said irritably.

"That's a new one," Wallace said.

Puck snapped his fingers in Finn's face. "Snap out of it, Hudson. You aren't dreaming."

"So..." Finn started, looking around. "That spaceship is...real, then?"

"Looks like it," Puck replied.

"We've gotta find the others and make sure they're okay!" Finn exclaimed all at once, causing Puck to take a step back, blinking.

"There isn't time", Wallace countered calmly, pointing up toward the hole in the ceiling.

Puck and Finn, both glancing toward the massive saucer floating above them, saw shapes emerging from small ports on the underside of the vessel , falling toward the shattered remains of the "concert hall". There were small flashes, little winks of light, and the shapes were falling more slowly. Wallace bumped puck in the arm with the back of his hand, motioning for he and Finn to hide with him behind a collapsed section of wall. Finn and Puck jumped over after him, crouching and watching as the dark silhouettes grew larger against the silvery underside of the saucer.

As the shapes took on detail, the three of them reacted: Finn with wide eyed astonishment, Puck with a frown and Wallace with, well...now that it's mentioned, he didn't have much of a visible reaction. The descending shapes were exactly what one might think would fly about in a saucer.

"Aliens." Wallace said simply.

"They're _ugly," _Puck said in a low voice. _"_Like,_ really_ friggen ugly._" _

The aliens were, as Puck described, ugly. They settled onto the rubble, drifting down on silver jet-packs, an entire platoon of them. They wore matte-black outfits topped with globular, transparent, fishbowl helmets. None of them were very tall, ranging from four to five feet at the most. They had strange eyes, black pools of nothingness, deep-set in their pocked, pale faces. The aliens began speaking to one another, a muted clicking noise coming from behind the globular helmets as their mouths opened outward in four directions, their mandibles parting like the petals of a flower whenever they emitted a sound.

"Their mouths are _really_ creeping me out." Finn said in a harsh whisper. He clutched Puck's arm, shivering a little.

"Hey!" Puck said a little too loudly. "Bug off, Finnessa!" He shook off Finn's arm and Finn looked a little hurt.

"Quiet!" Wallace hissed at them.

But it was too late. The aliens had heard something. They began fanning out like a SWAT team, pulling sleek rifles from their belts and chattering even more fiercely amongst one another.

"We've should go," Wallace said.

Puck and Wallace turned immediately, slinking among the pieces of rubble toward a gaping gap that part of the "concert hall" wall used to occupy. Finn, suddenly realizing after a moment that he was hiding there alone, turned and scrambled after them through the rubble.

"C'mon, Puck, wait!"

**SANTANA**

Santana coughed hoarsely, putting her forearms on a broken piece of concrete and pulling herself to her knees. She squinted through the hanging clouds of dust.

Brittany's voice floated over from somewhere to the side. "Those aliens look real to _me_, Santana."

Santana coughed again. "_What _aliens Brittany?" She was unable to mask her irritation, just that once. Santana glanced around, her eyes crossing over Artie's stirring form, still seated in his tipped wheelchair. She continued searching, trying to see what Brittany was talking about, when a pair of black booted feet landed directly in front of her. She was suddenly staring up into the dark, void-eyes of some bizarre, ghoulish creature, her own horrified facial expression reflected back at her in the glass of it's helmet. The alien lifted a rifle, touched the barrel to her nose...and pulled the trigger.

TO BE CONTINUED...


	3. Team Up!

**LIMA "CONCERT HALL" - NIGHT**

Will woke to the unpleasant realization that he was lying on top of Sue. She was already awake, staring into his eyes with a look of utter revulsion, unblinking. "William", she grated out, "that rancid bacon grease hair is inexcusably close to my person. I recommend, for your own mortal well being, that you lift your scrawny woman body off of me this very instant. If you do not, will vomit all over your _face_."

Will rolled off of Sue and stood quickly, violently dusting himself off as though she might have been carrying an incurable disease. Sue stood next to him, looking down at the stirring form of a girl with a neon pink, pixie haircut. Next to pixie-girl sat another girl with a long, striped scarf, who was shaking her head to clear it.

"Sue," Will started, "did you just use me as a human shield?"

"Of course I did", she said. "Why even bother asking? It's survival of the fittest."

The pixie-cut girl was sitting now. " What the...what happened?"

Will crouched next to her. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah, I'm fine", she said, standing shakily. "Chill."

The scarf girl stood as well, looking around. She uttered a quiet, "_Wow..._", in awe of the destruction.

Sue stepped toward the scarf girl, towering over her. "That was quite a save you performed there, Missy. What's your name?"

"Knives," the scarf girl said. "What about you?"

"My name is Sue. Sue Sylvester," Sue said, extending a hand. "You may be no bigger than my thumb but you have considerable upper body strength."

Knives gave a small, confused smile. "Thanks...I think."

"I would like to extend to you an offer to join my Cheerios," Sue said immediately.

"Well," Knives said, taking a breath. "I'm not really sure what that means. And I live in Canada. But I appreciate the offer."

"It doesn't matter where you live," Sue said forcefully. "This offer I'm presenting you with is a once in a lifetime opportunity that will change your destiny _forever_."

"Okaaaay," Pixie girl interrupted, grabbing Knives by the hand and turning toward Sue. "I'm Ramona, hey, nice to meet you, it's been fun, but, Knives, we really gotta find Scott and the others."

"Wait," Will said, "do either of you have any idea what's going on?"

Ramona pointed up at the hole in the ceiling, still looking at Will. "Well, I'd say we're in the middle of an alien invasion. Also, I'm pretty sure the two bands on stage were trying to kill each other."

Will looked up, his face going slack at the sight of the ship. "This is impossible. How can this be?"

"Open your eyes and maybe you'll see!" Sue said. "Lima is being attacked! By both little green men and hipster Canadians!"

Suddenly, a luminescent bolt of energy smashed into the ground near Sue's Nikes. She glared down at the smoking hole for a moment, then glanced up to see, running down a rise of debris toward them, a group of five or six black-suited, dome-topped aliens. More energy bolts zipped toward them, scorching the rubble all around them.

Knives frowned. "They aren't green..."

"Run!" Ramona shouted. She and Knives began springing across the rubble away from the aliens.

Sue just stood there, utter rage contorting her features. "How _dare _you!" she growled, jabbing a finger toward the attacking aliens with every word.

Will grabbed her by the wrist, pulling her out of the way of more energy bolts, dashing after Knives as her scarf disappeared over the side of a collapsed support beam. "You can rage about this later, Sue! C'mon!"

A voice echoed from somewhere above Santana. "You aren't dead are you?" A girl's voice, smooth and silky.

"No..." Santana groaned, vision slowly clearing.

"Good, because I wouldn't really know what to do with a _dead _person_." _The voice came from a young woman, stunningly beautiful, leaning over her.

"You aren't a bad sight to wake up to," Santana managed. "Wait...you're Envy, right? Envy Adams?" Santana sat, up rubbing her aching head.

"So, I take it you recognize me," Envy said, hands on her hips. "Color me impressed. Especially since you were knocked cold by some sort of stun weapon." She considered Santana for a moment. She snapped her head to the side, looking away from Santana, "It looked...very painful."

Santana blinked. It was all coming crashing back now. _Aliens. My girl was right after all. _"What happened?" Santana asked. "What happened to the..._alien_...that shot me?"

Envy's eyes flicked over Santana's shoulder, loo king over her back. "I killed it with the power of my hotness, of course" Envy said smugly.

Santana followed her gaze to find that, where the alien once stood, only a pair of black boots remained, trails of smoke wafting from them into the air. The alien's rifle lay on the ground near the empty boots. Santana was speechless. She thought she could smell burnt flesh.

"Your friends were abducted," Envy continued. "Me and that blonde girl tried to stop them, but she was overwhelmed. I managed to rescue you, but she and the disabled boy were stunned and lifted off into the sky." She gazed up at the underside of the saucer. "Who knows what terrible fate might befall them up there..."

"No is _not _happening! Not Britt!" Santana was standing now. "Why? Why did this have to happen?" She was talking more to herself than to Envy. "I'm too attractive for horrible things like this to happen to! Don't these aliens know who I am?"

Envy smirked. "I shouldn't think so...considering they're not from around here."

"What am I going to do!" Santana exclaimed, whirling on Envy, her black hair flying about her face.

"Well," Envy said, "I have an idea-"

She was interrupted by a shrill shriek. Santana turned to see Kurt sprinting and hopping toward them amid the rubble like a scared rabbit. One of the aliens was pursuing him, firing stun bolts. Santana's eyes widened and she acted without thinking, picking up a fist-sized chunk of broken concrete. Envy moved out of the way as Santana pulled back her arm. With a grunt of effort, she flung the heavy missile, sending it spinning through the air. Kurt noticed the flying piece of concrete just in time and ducked. The jagged chunk hit the alien square in the helmet, staggering it, the glass on it's dome cracking.

The alien chattered wildly, panicking as the hiss of depressurizing air grew steadily louder. Envy sprang forward, kicking gracefully, slamming a pointed heel into the crack on the alien's helmet. It shattered inward with a sharp sound, and the alien grabbed at it's throat as it was exposed to the open air, eyes bulging, mandibles clicking wildly - and then it's head EXPLODED in a shower of blue gore.

Kurt ducked out of the way of the blue arterial spray, eyes wide with horror. He straightened suddenly, quickly composing himself, fussing with his hair. "That was...really gross. Thank you, Santana," he said. He turned to Envy. "I suppose I have you to thank as well, though I don't know your- wait, you're the lead singer of the Clash at Demonhead, correct?"

"I am," Envy confirmed. "Envy. Envy Adams."

Kurt nodded to her. "Forgive me for not recognizing you right away, though your style of music is not usually my preference. Kurt Hummel," he continued, extending a hand. Envy took it waspishly, holding it with with just her fingers, giving it a single up and down shake. "This is all a bit much to take in," Kurt said.

"I'm sure it would be, if you let it," Envy said.

Santana looked over at Kurt, a little stunned. "They got Brittany and Artie," she said. A look of fear washed over his face. Santana took out her cell phone. "I'm going to call..._someone_." She dialed 911, only to find she had no signal. Kurt pulled out his own phone and discovered the same thing.

"The aliens have to be here for a specific reason," Envy said. "I'm sure they've covered all bases."

Determination suddenly filled Santana, an almost righteous indignation at having Brittany just _taken _from her. "I'm going to find Brittany. I'm not just going to let her _go_ like that and...well, I guess Artie, too."

Kurt stared at her as though lobsters were coming out of her ears. " Okay, Santana, what do you plan to do? These are _aliens _we're talking about here!"

Santana whirled on Kurt, loud and vehement, her old self beginning to return. "Alright, Hummel, what's your solution then? I don't see you coming up with any bright ideas! If someone _you_ cared for were taken, what would you do? Probably not stand there with that stupid look on your face!"

Kurt thought about Blaine back at Dalton's Academy, and about the fact that he couldn't seem to find Mercedes anywhere. "No..." he said softly, "I guess you're right."

Envy cleared her throat softly. "I, too need to board the alien ship for a reason of my own. I saw my evil ex-boyfriend, Scott Pilgrim, being taken by one of the aliens."

Kurt frowned, crossing his arms. "Why is your ex-boyfriend quote-on-quote 'evil'? And why do you care if he's captured or not?"

Envy snapped her head toward him, not unlike Santana had done but a moment ago. "He head-butted my other boyfriend, Tod, into oblivion. I really liked Tod. He had nice hair. Scott is going to pay." Her eyes darkened. "And not by the hand of any alien. By _my _hand and my hand alone."

**ALLEYWAY - NIGHT  
**

"What now?" Finn asked, breathless, as he Wallace and Puck slowed to a stop.

"I think it's a good idea if I find the people I came here with," Wallace said distantly.

Puck was looking up at the sky, at the alien ship, in anger. "There's no way I'm letting a bunch of swiss-cheese face _weirdos_ attack my town."

Wallace pulled out his cellphone, dialing Scott's number. As he half expected, there was not signal, so he snapped the phone shut. "I'm not sure you have much of a choice. They have guns."

"Yeah, man," Finn said to Puck. "They have guns. I don't really want to get shot or anything."

"I don't know about you losers, but I'm going to find a way onto that ship and _make _them leave," Puck declared, marching off down the alley. Wallace sighed, following.

Finn hurried after them, frowning and not at all happy. "Dude, Puck, wait! Wallace, why are you following him?" Why did Puck always have to be so..._aggressive_?

Wallace glanced back at him, still walking, still looking a little bored. "Well, there's safety in numbers and I want this night to be over as soon as possible. That means we're going to have to fight off the invaders."

"We?" Finn asked. "Like, including me, we?"

Wallace turned completely around, walking backward. "You want the rest of your little club to be safe, right?"

"Well yeah," Finn responded, "sure. But I don't see how that means we gotta go looking for trouble."

Puck cut in, not looking at them, still walking. "Before we got out of what was left of the 'concert hall', I saw cheese-faces carrying people away. They've got some of the Glee club with them."

Finn blanched, going paler than normal, but his features hardened. It was settled. They were going to find a way onto that ship, and he would go with them. He had to keep an eye on Puck. The thought of something happening to Puck, especially when he hadn't been there, especially before he had a chance to really _talk _to him again, filled him with dread.

**STREETS OF LIMA - NIGHT**

Will hurried after Sue, Ramona and Knives, stepping around a parked car. It was quiet, the street empty, like a ghost town. He heard the low thud of an explosion in the distance, causing him to instinctively flinch downward, and he knew that other parts of the city must be in chaos. He was also sure that, given a little time, he would go into shock. If he didn't, he'd seriously question the reality of the situation.

"We need to find some cover," Ramona said to Knives, "and get our bearings."

Will and Sue stuck with the two girls, Sue's fright hidden well by her hardened exterior, and Will just a little unsure of his sanity.

There was the heavy sound of boots, and the four of they backed up against a building. A small group of the aliens passed, rifles at the ready, marching off into the night. There was the FWASH sound of their rifles, lighting the streets in blue flashes. Will, peaking around Sue's shoulder, couldn't quite make out what was going on.

Ramona suddenly pushed off the wall, running out into the street, straight toward the gaggle of aliens.

"Wait!" Will called after her. "What are you doing!"

Knives ran after her and Sue followed at a distance. Will had no choice but to go as well and, as he drew closer, he could see that two of the aliens had unconscious forms slung over their shoulders.

"Scott! Kim!" Ramona shouted.

The aliens turned at the sound of her voice. The two carrying the limp bodies of Scott and Kim ignited their jet-packs, rocketing into the sky, rising toward the saucer above. Ramona's face clouded with a mixture of worry and anger.

The remainder of the aliens whirled on them, lifting their rifles. Ramona was suddenly reaching into her satchel, gripping a handle. She began pulling...kept pulling... Will did a double-take. Ramona finished pulling her weapon from the satchel, a long thing that Will could only describe as some sort of sledge hammer.

Sue blinked. "That...doesn't even make sense.

Knives drew her sai, stopping next to Ramona. The aliens faced them, chattering something, demanding and quick.

"Yeah," Ramona responded to the unintelligible words. "Whatever."

Knives and Ramona attacked, jumping past flashes of blue light. Will dropped to the floor, covering the back of his neck, daring only to peak up. Sue moved slightly to the left, letting an energy bolt whiz by her. The two attacking girls were in the thick of it, Knives slashing and stabbing while Ramona whirled and smacked aliens with her sledge hammer, sending them careening across the street, feet at a time.

Whenever Ramona's hammer cracked into an alien helmet, it would shatter, causing the alien's head to simply POP upon contact with Earth's air. The same would happen to Knives' foes whenever she made a tear in the alien's tough jumpsuits.

Backing away from the fray, one of the invaders bumped into Sue, who only stood there, watching. The alien turned, coming face-to-face with the tall, glowering coach. There was an awkward moment, the two just blinking at one another - until Sue grabbed the alien's rifle, _roaring_, flying into one of her rages. She ripped the weapon from the invader's grip and smashed it into his helmet repeatedly and with force. The alien fell, trying to back away, but Sue continued to accost it until, finally, the helmet shattered and the alien was no more.

Will looked at her in surprise and disbelief. "Sue, you're like the Incredible Hulk."

Sue turned to him, calm once more, regarding him with an unfathomable expression. "Why, William, I believe that is the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me."

Ramona and Knives, finished with their foes, took a moment to catch their breath.

Knives was almost gleeful. "We are _so _awesome! We kicked their butts!" She made a move as though to high-five Ramona, who didn't respond.

Ramona was just staring up into the sky, looking after the shrinking forms of the aliens holding Scott and Kim. "They got Scott." She whirled on Knives. "We're going after them."

Sue moved over to Ramona and Knives, casually holding the rifle she had stolen from her alien enemy. "I do believe I'm going with you ladies. You've inspired me to take action once again and I miss the thrill of being behind enemy territory, with just me and my piece against the world."

"More like against the Universe, in this case," Ramona said.

"You can't be serious, Sue," Will said, incredulous.

"Oh grow a pair already William!" Sue yelled. "We're getting these aliens _out _of Lima. Now, you're welcome to come with us or not, but when I defeat these aliens single-handedly and am declared supreme goddess of the universe, my first act as deity will be to remove your hair and diaper up that baby-butt chin and also, possibly, liquidate Glee club once and for all. It's in your best interest to get it together and be a _part _of this while you can."

"Wow," Knives said. "This is totally like a superhero team up or something!"

**ALIEN MOTHERSHIP - NIGHT **

"We're on the alien spaceship", Brittany told Artie as they regained consciousness.

They were in a massive, circular room atop a metal platform that hung above bustling crew pits. Scores of the ghoulish aliens scurried about below, ignoring them as they operated the ship's systems. Artie knew it had to be some sort of command bridge, because there was a wide window that wound completely around the circumference of the room, offering a stunning view of the Lima town-scape. Brittany and Artie both hung, suspended and helpless, in separate, translucent blue force-fields. Artie wondered what had happened to his wheelchair.

"If I look at you while we're like this," Brittany said, "I can make believe you're standing."

Usually the things Brittany said made Artie laugh, but that was just weird, considering their circumstances. On the other side of Brittany, he could see Rachel squirming around in her own force-field, to no effect.

"Brittany," Rachel said, "do you have any idea what's going on right now? I could have sworn you told Artie something about a spaceship. I have impeccable hearing, you know. It's how I manage to stay pitch-perfect whenever I sing."

Artie mumbled to himself. "That information is so...useless right now..."

"I can't be sure if this is a spaceship," Brittany began, "or just an atmospheric attack vessel."

"I don't even know what those words mean," Rachel said in a panic. She started breathing rapidly. "This can't be good for me. My blood pressure isn't as good as it used to be, you know. Ever since Finn and I parted ways, my nerves have been on edge and practically _fraying_."

There was the CLACK of booted feet rising up the narrow steps leading to the platform. It was one of the aliens, a little taller than the rest, wearing a cape and monumental headdress that seemed to teeter, dangerously top-heavy.

**Vorkog, the Beautiful**; **Age: **9,000 years; **Fun Fact: **His name, "The Beautiful", just means he's that much more hideously ugly by human standards. He also likes to destroy things.

Rachel shrieked at the sight of him but quickly covered her mouth as soon as the sound escaped.

"It's their leader," Brittany informed.

"How do you know that?" Artie asked.

"He's the one who abducted me last time they were here," she said.

Vorkog began clacking at them in the aliens' disturbing, guttural language.

"Do you want to know what he's saying?" Brittany asked considerately.

Artie frowned. "You can understand that?"

"I can," she nodded. "They put a chip in me when they probed me."

Vorkog listened to their voices for a moment before clacking at them again.

"He says he's going to destroy the earth," Brittany said calmly.

Rachel gasped "Before I've even reached stardom? This can't be!"

"Why? What have we ever done to these things?" Artie demanded.

Brittany began translating once more. "He says that he and his people covet the power of our music, a force unknown to his own world. He's captured us so that he can dissect us and examine our brains, but not before he uses us as bait to catch the rest of the Glee club and destroy Lima."

Rachel had a look on her face somewhere between pride and disgust. "Actually that's...sort of flattering, that someone would want to study my brain for the sake of music. I'd be happy to offer myself up for the good of music in general but not if it means I'm going to die. I'm too young and talented for that. Brittany, tell him we're going to leave now and that-"

"Why would he want to destroy Lima?" Artie interrupted. "There's nothing out here."

"He likes breaking things." Brittany responded.

Vorkog began chattering some more. "Oh," Brittany said, listening, "that's sort of sad."

Artie sighed. "What now?"

"Well," Brittany said slowly, "When he probed me, he learned a lot of things about us. He chose to steal music from earth, rather than another planet, because he knows we're always disorganized and have difficulty sharing our feelings and responding as a cohesive unit."

"What do feelings have to do with any of that at all?" Rachel said.

"Trust and sharing of feelings is key to any successful relationship," Brittany said. "But I think he might be right. There are lot of us, even in our own club, who don't know themselves well enough to be strong and stand up for their beliefs."

"That was...really eloquent." Artie complimented, genuinely surprised.

Brittany continued, "If we don't stop him, he's going to go from city to city, taking peoples brains. He's going to fly through the universe like a dark wave, conquering planet after planet with the power of our music." Brittany stopped for a moment. "It sounded better when he said it though. More sinister and like he meant it. I wish you could have heard it."

"This is terrible!" Rachel exclaimed. "Finn will rescue me! I know it!"

"Finn doesn't love you anymore," Brittany said. "I saw him shun you on the bus earlier. I also saw him staring at Puck the way I stare at Santana when Artie's not around."

Rachel quieted, shocked into silence by Brittany's frankness.

Vorkog moved over to a nearby control console, hitting a button and bringing up a shimmering, holographic screen. On it was a list written in the tangled characters of the alien alphabet. Vorkog began barking something into an intercom attached to the console.

"What does that list say?" Artie asked curiously.

Brittany squinted, reading it:

"Objective: take the brains of the Lima-ites. Then it says-

Disorganized and/or Missing Targets (Secondary Only): Scott Pilgrim, Mercedes Jones, Stephen Stills, Kim Pine, Mike Chang, Tina Cohen-Chang, Quinn Fabray and Sam Evans.

Primary Targets Include the following:

Resistance Team 1: Finn Hudson, Noah Puckerman and Wallace Wells.

Resistance Team 2: Natalie V. Adams, Kurt Hummel and Santana Lopez.

Resistance Team 3: Knives Chau, Ramona Flowers, William Schuester and Sue Sylvester."

"So there's still a chance they can get us out of here," Artie breathed.

"They're all going to have to bond together like they never have before," Brittany said, "Or Earth is doomed."

Out the window, they could see more of the alien jet-pack troopers, scores of them, dropping down toward the streets of Lima.

TO BE CONTINUED...


	4. Shark

**LIMA SHOPPING PLAZA - NIGHT**

Finn's ear had gone suddenly numb. He glanced back, realizing that a stray stun bolt had clipped him. "They're gaining on us, guys!"

"Thank you, Captain Obvious," Puck grated out.

Wallace, running just a little ahead, looked back at them. "Would both of you girls shut up and keep running!"

Two of the cheese-face aliens were zooming through the air on their jet-packs, shooting bursts of blue bolts at the three young men, who were currently dashing across an oddly vacant parking lot toward the warm glow that was Albertson's grocery store. It appeared as though most of the citizens had fled the premises in light of the attack currently underway. Wallace made it to the doors first, banging on the glass impatiently before they began to slide automatically open. He squeezed through as they parted, closely followed by first Puck, then Finn.

Just as Finn was diving in, there was a flash of blue, and he tumbled in a heap to the floor. "Guys, my legs! I can't feel my legs!"

Puck skidded to a stop, squeaking on the slick floor, then turned. "I swear to god, Finn, if I wasn't around to save your ass…" Puck growled. "Wallace, grab one of his arms!"

Wallace made a face. "Do I have to? Can't we just leave him? We're going to die."

Puck adjusted the guitar on his back and seized one of Finn's arms in a rather ungentle manner. "Just _do _it or I'm going to shove my boot so hard up your ass-"

Wallace's faced retained it's usual, unaffected manner. "You know," he interrupted, "if you're trying to threaten me it's not really working." He moved forward quickly, though, helping Puck hoist Finn up.

Wallace sniffed. "Hey, Finn. If we get out of this alive, there's this really cool thing you can go to the store and get. It's called deodorant. Oh, wait, we're already here. Let me take you down aisle-"

There was a resounding crash behind them. Both of them glanced over their shoulders to see one of the aliens SMASH through the glass doors at full speed, careening straight toward them. The alien careened into Puck, knocking all three boys to the ground, sending them sliding down an aisle lined with canned foods.

Finn and Wallace disappeared beneath an avalanche of soup cans, but Puck was hanging onto the alien for dear life. They zigzagged madly through the air like a punctured balloon, the jetpack thrown off by Puck's additional weight. Some distant part of Puck's mind was glad that no one could see the expression on his face; his mouth was open in a silent scream, eyes wide with fright.

The other alien came in through the broken sliding doors, landing and skidding to a stop, knocking over a stack of grocery baskets. Wallace jumped up, bursting out from beneath the cans - or tried to. Finn was still hanging onto him.

"Geeze, you're heavy!" Wallace exclaimed, trying to shrug out of his grip.

"Wait, no!" Finn yelled. "Don't drop me!"

Wallace dropped him, causing Finn to land with a dull noise, groaning, atop the heap of soup cans. The alien stopped in front of Wallace, chattering, his voice muffled, bouncing around inside the fishbowl helmet. Wallace squinted at him, as though straining to understand. "Yeah…I don't know what you're saying," he said with a shrug. The alien raised it's weapon, unleashing a stuttered burst of stun bolts. Wallace stepped slightly to the left, letting the bolts zip by him.

In the air, Puck was still hanging onto the alien for dear life. The invader smacked with a CLANG into one of the metal rafters supporting the vaulted roof. The collision shifted the alien's trajectory back toward Finn and Wallace's aisle. He was closing in on Wallace and the alien who faced him.

_Well_, Wallace thought, avoiding another stun bolt, _I suppose I should do something. _The alien was circling around Wallace's side, though, moving closer. Wallace stepped backward slowly, until he bumped up against the shelf behind him. _Oh, _he thought. The alien's finger closed around the trigger…

A soup can THUDDED against the alien's shoulder, skewing his aim just as he fired his weapon. Looking over the alien's shoulder, Wallace could see that Finn was still in a heap on the ground, but with his arm pulled back, can in hand, ready to throw once more. Wallace had his moment. He slammed a foot outward, knocking the alien backward - just as Puck and the careening jetpack alien zoomed down the aisle. They SMASHED into Wallace's alien, shot off at an angle and slammed into the grocery store shelf across from Wallace, further down the aisle from Finn. The entire thing tipped over, and Wallace couldn't help but jam fingers into his ears as the shelf CRASHED into the ground and more soup cans KADUNK-KADUNKED onto the hard floor. After an interminably long moment, the cacophony ceased.

"Puck!" Finn cried.

Apparently, feeling was returning to Finn's legs, because he was trying to get up. He wobbled, tottering like a newborn before falling back down again. Wallace would have found it a little sweet, Finn rushing to his friend's aid like that, had he an over excess of estrogen in his body as it seemed Finn did. It became clear to him then, suddenly and with the force of a hammer to the head of a nail, why Finn had been acting strangely around him.

"He's got a little boy crush on Puck," Wallace muttered to himself. "He was jealous I was hitting on him." This night might turn out to be more interesting than he'd originally thought. He watched Finn fumble all over himself for a moment longer before moving over to him. "C'mon, Bambi, time for you to earn your legs." He grabbed hold of Finn's collar, pulling him rather ungracefully to his feet. Finn's legs seemed to pinwheel beneath him for a little before they stilled, shakily propping him up like a set of stilts. Wallace released his shirt.

Finn looked over at him, careful to move only his upper body. He gave Wallace a lopsided smile. "Uh, thanks dude."

Wallace shrugged. "Don't worry about it, Gigantor."

Finn dropped his gaze, his features clouding over. "I don't really like it when people call me that."

Wallace made a face. "Are you really self-conscious or are you just messing with me?" he asked. Finn didn't respond. _Yep, _Wallace thought, _this is going to be fun. _

Both aliens had been killed in the jetpack collision.

Now, Puck moved down the length of the liquor aisle, considering his options. Wallace, trailing behind nonchalantly, was followed in turn by a reluctant, hobbling Finn.

"C'mon guys," Finn was saying. "Isn't this kinda like looting or something?"

"What's wrong with you?" Wallace said. "If I were still incapable of legally buying alcohol, I'd be all over this opportunity."

"Dude, Finn," Puck said, taking a bottle from the shelf, "man up. Besides, the best way to deal with crap like alien invasions is to have a drink _first._"

"Son of a submariner," Wallace said, looking down. "You got blood on my new shoes."

Finn blinked. "Son of a what?"

"I what?" Puck asked.

Wallace grabbed Puck's wrist, lifting forearm. "You're kind of bleeding. And kind of everywhere."

Puck looked down to see a long gash running up the length of the arm. "Huh. Weird. Didn't notice it until I looked at it. Actually…didn't hurt until I looked at it."

Finn's face paled further than usual. "I'm gonna go get you some gauze or something." He moved away down the aisle as quickly as possible and disappeared around the corner.

"Yes, good boy," Wallace muttered after him. "Hobble along." There was a pause as he turned to look at Puck. "That was pretty incredible," Wallace said. "Hitching a ride on that space invader's jetpack."

"You weren't so bad yourself," Puck said, his customary smirk returning to his face. "You set me up for taking them both down. Gave 'im a pretty good kick."

"It wasn't much, really," Wallace said. "Anyone can fight if they have the willpower."

"You were pretty badass," Puck returned.

Wallace smiled. "I usually am."

Puck noticed that Wallace was still holding his wrist, Puck's arm up between them. He found himself looking into those dark, shark's eyes of Wallace, those eyes filled with nothing but desire and intent. He couldn't pull away from his gaze. "Like the Death Star tractor beam," he breathed.

"What did you say?" Wallace asked.

"Nothing," Puck responded.

Now, Puck could only think of one thing at this moment, which sort of surprised him, but didn't at the same time. His eyes were drifting down Wallace's face to his lips and that confident, smug smile. It was the smile of someone almost as badass as he.

Now, Puck wasn't gay, mind you. He messed around with girls…mostly. And he liked it. But he wasn't a narrow-minded guy. He liked to assert himself, make sure people know who the top dog around McKinley was. He _usually _did this by pounding the tar out of anyone who opposed him, or flinging the dregs of the school's caste system into the dumpsters where they belonged. The other way he asserted dominance…well, he'd only had to do it once or twice.

Last time he had done it had been with that Matt Rutherford kid who had transferred out of McKinley last year. The kid had gotten uppity around second semester, trying to usurp his position on the football team, trying to strut his stuff. Puck wasn't having any of it. They'd gotten into an argument, heated words flying back and forth in the otherwise quiet, emptied locker room after practice. The kid had pissed him off, like, more than he usually did with that maddening smile and toned, perfect body he liked to show off.

Matt had, in fact, been showing off in the locker room when they were arguing. He could've wrapped his towel around his waist like a decent human being, but no, that apparently was too much trouble for him. The towel had remained slung over his shoulder. So, when Puck's eyes kept drifting below Matt's belly-button toward his nether regions, distracting him from forming coherent sentences, the easiest way to shut Matt up had been to shove him up against the locker and put his mouth over Matt's mouth. After that, their arguments completely ceased and Matt didn't bother him….except by smiling at him more often.

There was also that time at Matt's going away party, in Matt's room, just the two of them, their clothes scattered and forgotten on the ground near the door (shut and locked of course). But that didn't count. There had been enough alcohol present for plausible deniability. And besides, Puck had shown Matt who was in charge even then.

So, looking at Wallace now, Puck wasn't sure that he didn't want to kiss him. In fact, he was almost sure that he _did. _Puck was a sex shark. A kiss was a kiss was a kiss under the belt. And Wallace seemed to think he was so badass... The shark had awakened, and it was hungry. It would show Wallace what was up.

Finn, carrying a box of gauze, Band-Aids and a tube of disinfectant, came around the corner just as it happened. Puck leaned toward Wallace with surprising suddenness. Finn watched as he mashed his lips into Wallace's, who didn't seem at all surprised. There was no initial hesitancy on Puck's part, and the kiss was strong and forceful. Wallace was lifting a hand to the back of Puck's head, and Finn could tell there was tongue involved, because Puck was angling his head slightly, his eyes still open.

Finn felt his grip tightening on the first aid supplies, the cardboard box of Band-Aids beginning to cave beneath his fingers. As he watched Puck's face, that ravenous gleam in his old friend's eyes, his jeans began to tighten as well. It was a moment before he recognized that feeling between his legs, and he felt his face heat up. He wanted to keep watching, imagining that those lips were pressed into his, that those hungry eyes were locked with his…

What? What was he thinking? He shook his head, trying to clear it, until he realized that all those things were _exactly _what he wanted. His mixed feelings towards Puck recently, they were all making sense to him now.

This was what he wanted.

A sudden, curdled feeling bubbled in his stomach as he watched Puck kissing someone else, kissing a stranger that should've been him.

**STREETS OF LIMA - NIGHT**

"There it is," Envy said, pointing over the tops of the buildings. "The invaders are clustered there."

"Isn't that the tower for the local radio station?" Kurt thought aloud.

Envy turned toward Kurt and Santana. "It's exactly that. You see those smaller ships floating about it's apex? I'm certain they're sending a signal through the tower that's jamming subspace."

Santana's face scrunched up. "Subspace? What the hell is subspace?"

Envy raised an eyebrow. "I thought all Americans knew what subspace was."

"Well, obviously not," Santana spat out.

"No need to be testy", Envy purred. "It's a little hard to put into _words_", she continued, "but it could be described as alternate dimension that lies along hidden radio frequencies. If we disabled the jammers, we could be up on that flying saucer lickety split before those invaders even realize what hit them."

Kurt gulped. "That means we're going to have to fight. Doesn't it."

Santana whirled on Kurt. "Y'know, Hummel, I always though you were the strong, independent type, but that nickname Coach Sylvester gave you is starting to seem more and more appropriate."

"Which nickname?" Kurt asked. "Porcelain or Ladyface?"

Santana frowned. "Actually the one I was talking about was neither of those."

Kurt's eyes narrowed. "I don't know about any other nicknames. She has another nickname for me?"

"Woops," Santana said. "Of course not, I don't know what I was saying. Seriously though, you were the one standing out and being yourself and showing off that attitude without regard for any that might judge you. What happened recently? You just turn into jell-o, cave and leave 'cuz…what? The hockey bears are bugging you just a little bit more than usual?"

"_Why _are you all up in my face today, Santana?" Kurt shot back, suddenly angry. "Just because I don't particularly relish the idea of being shot at doesn't make me weak!"

"There's something else, though," Santana said quietly, stepping a bit closer. "You left because of that boy, didn't you?"

Kurt took a step back. "What are you talking about? What boy?"

Santana smirked. "The one you were texting several times a day in class. That Blaine hottie from Dalton's. I can see over your shoulder when you text, you know."

Kurt's face turned red. "It's none of your business, Santana!"

"Wait a minute," Santana said, stopping, "We used to hang out, right? When was the last time you shared anything with me? When we were practicing the single ladies dance? It's like you're being absorbed by this plastic, ken-doll boyfriend you have and you've forgotten all about the rest of us."

"He's…not my boyfriend," Kurt said quietly.

"Exactly, girl-jeans." Santana leaned toward him, right in his face. "He's not you're boyfriend."

Kurt blinked at her.

"You know what you should do," Santana continued, "is make a decision _not _based solely on your fear and self-loathing, for once. Stop trying to hide behind other people. Stop trying to fool yourself that, one day, everything will suddenly just be all right, that some great guy will suddenly just sweep you off your feet!"

"I don't loathe myself!" Kurt retorted.

"Really?" Santana said, skeptical. "Could've fooled me. Running away and hiding from all of us like that and hiding from the people who were tormenting you."

Kurt was silent.

Santana crossed her arms. "It's never going to change, Hummel. There's always going to be somebody who hates you, someone who's going to try and stop you from being you. That won't change. The question is, what will you do about it? Run away or stand up for yourself? I mean, look at me. Uncompromising and unwavering. I am myself without apology. Some people don't like me-"

"Some people…?" Kurt muttered.

"-but that doesn't mean I should censor or filter myself. _Grow a pair_, Kurt."

Kurt was stunned, quivering in indignation, hands balled into fists.

"So," Santana said, finally. "Are you in or out? Are you going to take initiative for once? Because there's no room for pussies on this mission."

Kurt's mouth moved silently.

A loud sigh cut into the thin, night air. It was Envy. "Well this suddenly became wildly _boring_." She turned away from Kurt and Santana, striding off down the street toward the radio station. "Either or both of you feel free to come with me. It doesn't make a bit of difference to little old me." Santana glared at Kurt for a moment longer before turning and following.

Kurt just stood there, staring at Santana's departing figure. He looked down at his feet…then looked back up. As much as Santana's usual frankness stung, she had a point. Did he really like Blaine or had he just shot off to Dalton's because he was, literally, the only other boy in Lima that showed even a hint of interest in him? Well…besides Dave Karofsky, of course.

"Santana," he spoke up. She turned, hands on her hips, tapping her foot impatiently. He took a deep breath. "Count me in."


	5. Doubt and Neon Hair

NOTES: Features the song **"Wake Up" **by** The Arcade Fire,** which I have no legal rights to.

**OUTSIDE THE "CONCERT HALL" – NIGHT**

Sue poked her head around the corner. "The way to the parking garage is clear," she intoned. "No bogeys in sight."

A small giggle cut through the quiet behind her. Sue spun on Knives, who had just clapped her hands over her mouth. "Silence, Chun Li."

"That's not my name," Knives responded.

"I'm quickly starting to re-evaluate my opinion of you," Sue countered quietly, her mouth thin. "It's imperative that we be extra cautious or-"

Ramon and Will brushed past the two of them, heading for the parking garage. Ramona regarded them as she passed. "Are you guys coming or what?"

Sue marched after them. "I will not be spoken to in such a manner." Ramona said nothing, continuing to face forward, only rolling her eyes.

"So," Will broke in awkwardly, "I'm not sure I'm fully grasping the plan here."

"The radio tower," Ramona said. "We've got to get subspace back online or we won't be able to warp up to the UFO."

"But you were able to use your subspace handbag," Knives pointed out, scurrying to keep up with them.

"Yeah, this thing is still intact," Ramona said, giving the bag on her shoulder a shake, "but the actual highway is down."

Will frowned. "Am I really the one that this is not making any sense to?"

"It doesn't matter William," Sue said, stalking past him. "Just stick with us and I promise that no hair on your head will come to harm." She stopped, gazing at him. "Not that anything short of Kryptonite scissors, which I have yet to receive via internet order, would be able to sever those petrified locks of yours anyway."

Will glared, but continued to follow after the group. Sue ignored the imaginary daggers, her white tennis shoes carrying her up to Ramona's side.

Sue cleared her throat. "I admire your single-mindedness in this situation, Tinkerbell-

"-I'd appreciate it if you called me Ramona_._" Ramona interjected.

"-but I can't help but thing you're going about this for all the wrong reasons," Sue continued.

"What reasons would those be?" Ramona asked as they passed into the shadow of the parking garage. "And where did you get Tinkerbell from, anyway?"

Sue's mouth curled at the edges, as though she were attempting to stifle a snicker. "I"m talking about the way you suddenly decided to run after your missing man-toy. And Tinkerbell was in reference to your obnoxious, neon-colored pixie hair."

"Scott isn't my 'man-toy'", Ramona countered with a sigh, "He's my boyfriend. And I happen to think my hair looks awesome."

Sue gave a false smile. "Man-toy, boyfriend, potāto, potăto. I think it's awfully pathetic for you to risk your life for someone who was incompetent enough to get themselves kidnapped in the first place. If your accessory can't watch out for himself, then who will?"

"We watch out for each other," Ramona said. "Why do you keep calling him anything but my boyfriend? It's starting to get on my nerves."

Sue stopped mid-stride, holding up both her hands. "I just believe that every individual is their own best friend." The wedding rings on both of Sue's hands sparkled in the dim glow of the street lights.

"So..." Ramona said, raising an eyebrow. "You don't believe in love?"

"Are you mocking my marriage! How dare you!" Sue shouted hoarsely, seemingly genuinely enraged. "Sue Sylvester loves Sue Sylvester more than you could ever _fathom._ She is quite happy with herself, thank you _very _much!"

"Okay," Knives said quietly. "That's really weird."

Will came up beside them. "It's nice that you have self respect, Sue, but sometimes people need others they can rely on."

"Leaning on someone else is a sign of weakness," Sue shot back.

"Well, whatever floats your boat," Ramona said, shrugging once more. "Personally, I get tired of continually pleasuring myself when there's no guy around. Call me lazy, but I enjoy having someone else do it for me every once in awhile."

"That had nothing to do with what I was talking about, you vulgar little twit," Sue snarled.

"Well, well," Will smirked. "Looks like Sue Sylvester may have met her match."

Sue opened her mouth to speak, but closed it once more.

Knives eyes flicked to and fro among the group. "Wow," she said quietly. "Can't we all just be...friendly? Or something?"

They moved into the parking garage. Knives noticed a ring of keys jangling as Will pulled them from his pocket.

"Where did you get those?" she asked. "Shouldn't the bus driver have them?"

Will gulped. "The bus driver got crushed by a piece of the roof back inside."

Knives stopped, her eyes going wide. She was trembling. Will walked back toward her, concern etched on his features. He stooped a bit near her petite form. "Hey, you okay?"

She nodded quickly. "Yeah, I'm alright. I just didn't realize anyone...died...y'know?"

"Try not to think about it," Will said, patting her shoulder. "That's what I'm doing. In fact, I think it's the only thing keeping me from going off the deep end."

Knives looked at him for a moment. "That's really not comforting at all," she said.

"I know..." Will said helplessly.

**ELSEWHERE IN LIMA – NIGHT**

"I'd feel much more comfortable if I had something to fight _with_", Kurt was saying.

Santana, walking next to Kurt and Envy, pointed ahead of her as they walked. "The mall is on the way to the radio station."

"I think now is hardly the time to go shopping," Envy said.

"The mall's got one of those nerd cutlery shops," Kurt replied. "You know, like where they sell ninja swords and things like that."

"I like the way you're thinking, Hummel," Santana said with approval.

Kurt laughed a little. "I would've never in my wildest dreams imagined that I'd go hunting for weapons to kill aliens with."

"If you think about it too hard," Envy intoned, "you'll start thinking it's implausible and lose your grip on reality." Kurt and Santana looked at her. "No," Envy continued, "_really_."

**PARKING GARAGE – NIGHT**

The parking garage flickered in and out of existence, the pale, fluorescent lights winking infrequently.

"The bus is parked on the third level," Will said.

"Of course it is," Ramona responded drily. "Couldn't have been closer."

They moved toward the elevator closest them. It _dinged _pleasantly as the doors slid open, and the four members of their unlikely group stepped inside.

"I think," Sue broke in, her head turning toward Ramona, "that after all of this is over, you'll come to the realization that you've been putting too much effort into the doomed ship that is your relationship."

"Too much effort?" Ramona queried incredulously.

Sue nodded. "Yes, that's what I said. Going to rescue someone from an alien battleship who, mind you, is not even your spouse yet, is going unreasonably too far past the required functions of any type of a supposed significant other."

"Sue please," Will sighed exasperatedly," just stop.

"No it's alright," Ramona said. She turned slowly toward Sue. "I love Scott Pilgrim. Nothing she says is going to change that."

Sue's eyes widened past a point that seemed physically possible. "You-"

The doors _dinged _open once more, interrupting Sue. Ramona strode confidently past her, followed by Will and Knives.

"You're far too young to make an assumption like that," Sue said, following as well.

"It's not an assumption," Ramona refuted simply. "I'm aware of the way I feel."

"Well then, sister, you're going to be in for a rude awakening one of these days," Sue responded darkly. "Love never seems to work out the way you want it. Just ask William, here. I hope you don't mind, Schuester. He was in 'love' when he was not but a babe-"

"I was in high school," Will interjected.

Sue continued on, disregarding him, "-and now he's divorced and hung up on two different women, one of whom is a repulsive and unnerving hybrid of Mary Poppins, Mrs. Potts and an escaped nun. You might think you're in love, Crayola, but you'll know for sure later down the line."

Ramona blinked. "Crayola?"

"Yet another reference to the color of your hair," Sue said. "Every time I look at it, had I tear ducts, my eyes would probably begin to water. As it stands, they simply burn."

Ramona put a hand on her hip, stopping near the side of the bus. "What's your point?"

"My point," Sue continued, "is that you're investing far too much in this one pitiful young man who can't defend himself against against a few migrant munchkins from munchkin land."

"They were aliens with guns," Knives pointed out.

Sue ignored her. "You should think about why you're doing this, Pixie," Sue said, stepping almost toe to toe with Ramona. "Make sure you don't go into the heat of battle for all the wrong reasons, because this so called love that you're fighting for will only get you so far. Namely, to a lawyer that helps you discuss who gets the larger half of your soon to be born child."

"I'm not pregnant," Ramona said, frowning. "Why do you care so much, anyway?"

Sue gave her a look that seemed almost sympathetic. "I just don't like seeing young and energetic things like you tied down and broke down by something as trivial as relationships when you could just be thinking about things that are far more important instead."

Will was unlocking the bus. "Like what Sue? What are you going to tell her? To think about herself? That she should be the only thing important to her?"

"No, William I was not going to say such strange things," Sue said, taken aback. "I was just trying to inform her that she needs to have her head screwed on straight so she doesn't end up as the main course in an alien's well-balanced breakfast. And also so that she can help to properly secure my future as the ruler of this universe." Then, shouldering her appropriated alien rifle, she brushed past him as he opened the door to the bus.

She mounted the first step and turned to face her three tag-alongs. "Know this, though. If you do rescue your beloved Scott, Crayola, it doesn't mean he's going to love you forever and ever, happily ever after by default. Neither will it make _you _love_ him _forever."

**OUTSIDE THE LIAM SHOPPING "MALL" - NIGHT**

"I'm almost certain this is the smallest mall I've ever seen," Envy said disapprovingly. "Is there a basement level?"

"No," Santana said, slightly miffed. "It's just those two stories."

"Hm," Envy huffed. "Well, as long as it has what we require."

"It usually has everything necessary," Kurt responded, indicating his very well put-together assortment of brand label clothing. Envy couldn't help but offer him a smile, be it a small one.

They trio moved toward through the nearly deserted parking lot and toward the mall's entrance. In the silence of the night, interrupted only by the sharp click of Envy's heels against the pavement, Kurt's mind wandered.

What Santana said earlier had stung as usual, but only because it had hit home. Kurt was _lonely. _While he wasn't sure about Blaine's feelings one way or another, he realized he couldn't just latch onto him because he was simply there. He liked Blaine, but Blaine didn't really light anything in him the way Finn had, once upon a time. Things just weren't turning out the way he thought they would. He began to think that, perhaps, he might never find someone, at least not while he remained in Lima. So what, then? He'd have to wait until he went to some school out of town, out of _state_ maybe? It was so...unfair. He was just entering the prime of his life, and he had to wait even longer.

Apparently, the world didn't just hand him the right to live like everyone else. He was finding that the world was vicious, dog-eat-dog, everyone for themselves. Kurt supposed that he might be a weaker, more unfortunate dog, left to nip at the scraps. Did he have to just take what he could get without complaint?

Maybe Kurt didn't need anyone. Maybe he needed only himself. Maybe that's all he would ever have.

**PARKING GARAGE – NIGHT**

Will dropped into the driver's seat. Ramona and Knives sat apart from Will, toward the middle of the bus. Sue sat toward the back of the bus in stoic silence.

Although it had been directed at Ramona, Sue's words had gotten to Will. First Terry, and now Emma, things seemed simply to never work out. Not in his life, anyway.

Knives sat quietly, absorbed in her own thoughts as well. What Sue had said...she had once been in love with Scott just as Ramon loved Scott now. Just when she'd thought things were going smoothly, he'd crushed her. She wondered what Ramona thought about all of this. She glanced at her friend, her pretty face lit palely by the fluorescent lights. If Ramona couldn't find love, then no one could, Knives thought to herself. But looking at Ramona revealed a hint of something Knives felt: doubt.

Did people, at some point, just come to some sort of realization about life and decide never to get their hopes up again? Is that what had happened to Sue? Knives, though she hated to think it, couldn't fathom how people could go on this way, day after day, just hoping and laughing and..._loving. _Not when it was almost too painful to think about getting crushed again. She'd end up like Sue.

"Hey." Ramona's voice jerked Knives out of her thoughts. "What's wrong?"

Knives sighed. "I just want to get though this alright, Ramona," Knives said.

Ramona wrapped an arm around her smaller friend. "So do I," she said, kissing the top of Knives' raven-colored head. "So do I." The way she said it made Knives wonder if Ramona knew what she'd been thinking about.

**GROCERY STORE – SAME TIME**

Puck reluctantly tore his mouth away from Wallace's lips when he noticed Finn standing there. Wallace wasn't ready, and a string of saliva connected their two mouths. Puck blinked at Finn's dumbstruck face for a few moments before finally saying: "_What?_"

Finn's mouth opened and closed once or twice before he responded. "I...I didn't know you were-"

Puck's features hardened immediately. "You didn't know I was _what?_"

"I didn't know you...liked dudes," Finn said with a lack of eloquence.

"Yeah, well," Puck started, "there's a lot of stuff you don't know about me. It's not like we talk anymore or anything."

"Yeah," Finn said awkwardly, holding out the box of band-aids and disinfectant. "I've been meaning to...talk to you about that...I guess..."

Wallace looked back and forth between them, then glanced down at Finn's crotch, then smiled to himself before becoming composed once more. "Hey, I know you two have catching up to do or whatever, but we were kind of in the middle of something," he said to Finn.

Puck took the first aid supplies, raising an eyebrow at Finn as he did so.

Finn face was still slack, but now, Puck could swear he saw a bit of hurt there as well. Finn took two steps back, stopped and stared at him for a moment longer, his eyes swimming. Puck almost felt guilty. Almost. Then Finn was gone, hands in his pockets, walking down the aisle and turning the corner.

Puck watched the space where he once stood for an instant before turning around to face Wallace again. "Where were we?"

Wallace simply stared back at Puck with that damned unfathomable expression, his dark eyes inscrutable. "If I didn't know better," he said, "I'd swear he had a crush on you."

"What?" Puck said, mildly surprised. "Don't be stupid. Finn's not like that. Plus, he hates me for knocking up his girl or something."

"I think he wanted to talk to you about that and other things," Wallace said, putting a hand out as Puck stepped forward, his shark face emerging. Good Lord, it took all of Wallace's willpower to keep him at bay.

Puck ceased his advance. "Why do you give a crap about it anyway?"

"I don't," Wallace said. "But I think you do. It seems like you're trying really hard not to."

Puck glowered at him, violent feeling creeping forth. Who did this guy think he was, anyway? Still gripping his band-aids and disinfectant in one hand, he raised a fist at Wallace, who's eyes followed Puck's arm as it pulled back. It snapped forth, and Wallace dodged to the side, redirecting Puck's blow with the slap of a palm. Okay, Puck thought, that was a clumsy one. Puck regained his balance, cast aside the first-aid supplies, and shrugged off his guitar. The two young men faced one another across the aisle.

**NOAH PUCKERMAN VS . WALLACE WELLS**

Puck came at Wallace with another punch, this one streaking toward Wallace's face. Wallace simply wasn't there, though, and Puck's hand plowed through nothing but air. There was a tap on Puck's shoulder before confusion even had time to register in his brain. He looked over his shoulder in time find Wallace standing behind him. The young Canadian's fist shot toward Puck and crashed into his face instead, sending a wave of dull pain coursing through his jaw. Puck staggered backward. What was going on! Puck getting punched? In the _face?_ It must be a sign of the Apocalypse.

Puck attacked again, throwing yet another punch, but Wallace raised a hand. Puck's fist slowed and stopped finally, as though he were trying to punch through molasses. The next thing he knew, he was... ...floating? Puck couldn't tell _what_ was going on. Wallace's hair seemed as though it were being tousled by some sort of invisible wind. _Okay, _Puck thought dimly, _this is too weird. _Considering they were currently hiding out from aliens, that was saying something.

Puck was suddenly catapulted backward. He heard his own cry of surprise, which was cut off by a sharp _oof _when he landed heavily on his back. He slid a few feet across the slick grocery store floor, producing an ear-piercing squeaking noise.

Wallace walked calmly toward him, hands in the pockets of his jacket. "I don't know why you would do something like that" he said. "I thought I did a decent job of making out with you."

"You did," Puck said with a grunt, rising to his feet. "I just don't like it when people try to analyze me. It really pisses me off!"

"Oh," Wallace said. "Well, I have psychic powers, so you should probably rethink this."

Puck could hardly believe his ears. "You have...psychic..._powers_?"

"Yeah, there was this one guy I hooked up with once," Wallace began. "His name was Mobile. I met him at the ATM. He started training me or whatever."

Puck frowned. "Well...that's not fair."

"I know," Wallace said. "Don't say I didn't warn you, then. Give up?"

Puck dropped his guard, feigning defeat, but suddenly charged Wallace. The latter wasn't one to be easily surprised, however. He was knocked backward as Puck slammed into him, but instead of crashing to the ground, he seemed to brace himself on an invisible wall in mid-air. He grabbed Puck under the armpits, hoisting him up as he rose, and flung him against the grocery store shelf to their right. It was bowled over by Puck's tumbling form, bottles of alcohol smashing to the floor. Puck landed in a heap behind the toppled shelf, and Wallace dropped to the ground beside his prone form.

"Tell you what," Wallace said calmly, "I'll give you an ultimatum. One of my _famous_ ultimatums."

"NO!" Puck shouted, jumping to his feet. He tackled Wallace, pulling him to the ground with him, holding Wallace's hands over his head, and pinning him.

Wallace looked up from where he lie beneath Puck's weight, their faces inches from each other. "What was that all about?"

"I wasn't planning on dying like that!" Puck declared.

Wallace gave him a strange look, his brow furrowing. "Puck, do you know what an ultimatum _is_?"

Puck frowned back at him. "Isn't ultimatum like some crazy death spell or something?"

"No..." Wallace said, utterly confused. There was a moment of silence. "I'm usually the top," Wallace continued finally. "I don't think this is going to work out."

He slammed his knees into Puck's stomach and followed through with a psychic _slam _into Puck's chest, knocking the well-built boy off of him. Puck landed on his feet, amazingly, but lost his balance immediately, falling onto his butt. Puck had never felt so humiliated. Scratch that. He'd _rarely_ felt so humiliated.

"Okay," Wallace began, drawing in a breath. "Let's try this again." He stood over Puck and pointed a finger at him, dramatically. "Either you talk to your friend before this night is over, or I decide to psychically pummel you again."

"This is _so _not cool," Puck whined.

Wallace pulled back a fist, ready to attack once more. "Do we have a deal?"

"Fine!" Puck grated out.

**LIMA "SHOPPING MALL" - NIGHT**

Kurt, Envy and Santana made it to the mall's glass doors. It looked like the lights had been dimmed. Kurt tried the doors, and they shook but didn't open: locked.

"Crap," Santana hissed. "It's after closing. I forgot it closed early on Wednesday nights."

Envy took a step back. "Like it matters," she said haughtily. "We have things to do." She snapped a high-heel forward and smashed it through the glass, shattering it inward. The pieces _tinkled _to the mall's tile floor. Envy turned toward them, stepping to the side. "Ladies first," she said serenely.

Kurt stepped gingerly inside, his feet knocking aside glass shards. He was followed closely by Envy and Santana. Down the hall ahead of him, from behind a kiosk, _something, _poked it's head out. He froze, thinking it might be an alien. As his eyes refocused in the dim light, he saw that wasn't the case.

Envy stepped forward. "Why, Stephen, it's about time you showed your face." Her gaze quickly became a steely one, and Kurt shivered a little at the sight. "You're going to pay for foiling my plans," Envy declared coldly.

**GROCERY STORE BATHROOM – MOMENTS LATER  
**

The moment he stepped into the bathroom, Puck knew he wasn't alone. He saw Finn's shadow beneath one of the stalls. He hesitated for a moment, then moved toward one of the sinks, dressing his wounds. Puck heard a toilet flush, heard the rustling of Finn's jeans and saw him begin to unlatch the door.

Puck was just finishing the wrapping on his arm when Finn opened the door, freezing awkwardly there, looking at Puck through his reflection in the mirror. Again, it looked like Finn might say something, his mouth starting to move silently.

Puck was going to beat him to it. He just had to work up to say...something. He stared at Finn, at the face of his old friend, really _looked _at him for the first time in awhile. He missed the clumsy doofus. But before Puck could speak, Finn was shuffling away, the bathroom door swinging shut behind him. _Tch. _Finn could be such a _girl_ sometimes.

He leaned against the sink, supporting himself, staring at his own reflection. After a few seconds, he took the guitar from his back, having picked it up again after his tussle with Wallace. He examined it, seeing no obvious damages. The thing had better be alright after all of that. It was a newer one and he didn't feel like buying another anytime soon. There was only one way to be sure, though.

He strummed the instrument. It sounded good, still. A bit out of tune, but good. He found his fingers moving over the strings, playing of their own accord. Whenever he found it hard to think, playing helped.

**PARKING GARAGE – SAME TIME**

The bus pulled out, carrying a despondent Will, Knives and Ramona. A self-satisfied Sue rode with them.

**OUTSIDE THE BATHROOM – SAME TIME**

Finn leaned against the wall there, listening to the sound of the guitar, unbeknownst to Puck. The sound drifted through the now quiet store and...

...into the night.

**SCHOOL BUS – SAME TIME**

Will comforted himself by humming at first, then by singing softly.

_Something filled up_

_My heart with nothing_

_Someone told me not to cry_

_But now that I'm older_

_My heart's colder_

_And I can see that it's a lie_

_Children, wake up_

_Hold your mistake up_

_Before they turn the summer into dust_

_If the children don't grow up_

_Our bodies get bigger but our hearts get torn up_

_We're just a million little gods causing rainstorms_

_Turning every good thing to rust_

_**I guess we'll just have to adjust...**_

TO BE CONTINUED

Thanks for reading! Reviews always appreciated!


	6. Memory Kiss

It's been awhile since this crack-filled story received some love, and I apologize for that. What? You don't believe I'm really sorry? Fine. As proof, I've composed a recap so that you won't have to browse the previous chapters of the story to remember what the #$% happened. Happy reading.

**PREVIOUSLY, ON "SEX DIRECTIONS VS. THE UNIVERSE"**

In this crappy town called Lima, there was a wannabe band called the New Directions, all of whom were still in high school. On a field trip, they met a (kind-of) real band called Sex Bob-omb. This meeting of two worlds was disrupted by a bunch of rude aliens led by an evil dictator named Vorkog who wished to steal their gift of music, a force which he describes as the ultimate weapon.

Even though all the important people in the town of Lima are distracted by trying to survive, some of them find time to do other things that are more important. Such as—

[Exhibit A]: Puck kisses Wallace to make Finn jealous even though he doesn't realize it.

[Exhibit B]: Sue hates herself and takes it out on Will, Knives and Ramona in the form of scathing remarks steadily decreasing in their wit and overall effectiveness.

[Exhibit C]: Kurt wrestles with the fact that he's sort of a wimp sometimes and that he's "settling" for Blaine. Santana wrestles with the fact that she's more or less the same person as Kurt and that there's another Ice Queen (named Envy) who may be more Icy than her.

The plan across all boards is to repair the subspace highway and board the UFO that is terrorizing Lima, though the different teams of these gifted youngsters don't realize this yet. Meanwhile, Rachel, Artie and Brittany are held in suspended animation aboard the UFO itself, waiting anxiously to see if they are probed and if their class/bandmates survive the night.

Kurt, Santana and Envy had just entered the shopping mall to acquire weapons when they ran into Stephen Stills.

A bunch of nameless citizens were crushed to death by the roof of the "concert hall" caving in.

Will, Knives and Ramona have just commandeered the school bus and are heading for the UFO.

Puck, Finn and Wallace aren't really doing anything except casting smoldering glances at one another in an empty grocery store.

The battle for the universe continues.

**ATMOSPHERIC ATTACK VESSEL (AVV) ABOVE LIMA – STILL NIGHTTIME**

"This has to be the longest night of uncertainty and hanging in midair I've ever been forced to endure," Rachel whined shrilly.

Artie blinked at her from behind his glasses, looking at her across the space between their force field prisons. "It really doesn't bother me that much," Artie said. "I mean, I can hardly move anyway. This isn't that different."

Brittany smiled at him. "Aw, Artie, it just shows how amazing of a person you are, trying to make Rachel feel better about her situation."

Vorkog, who had been busy at the command console below, whirled at the sound of their voices. His own voice rose to join theirs, clacking angrily and with venom.

"What's he saying!" Rachel prompted in a panic.

"More importantly," Artie intoned, "when have you ever had to endure a night where you floated in mid-air?"

Brittany spoke up then, her voice quiet but certain. "He says that we need to be silent or he'll probe **all** of us, which is a good idea because I really am getting tired of being the only one able to translate."

"No," Rachel declared loudly, "that's out of the question! I will not allow any foreign object or the extremities of an evil alien warlord to enter that part of my body before I have fully explored that region myself!"

Vorkog gave them a glare that could only be described as withering. It was difficult to tell, considering the mandibles and the swollen, pock-marked head. He returned then to his work at the console, and Artie could not help but wonder how his immense headdress didn't topple off of his head, what with his strange, jerky movements and all.

"What's he doing now!" Rachel demanded.

"He's opening the hangar bay," Brittany said. "They've captured some of the others."

"Who!" Artie exclaimed, obviously concerned.

"Oh, thank god," Rachel breathed. "You two have horrible character dynamic when positioned next to a person possessing such overwhelming magnitude of personality such as I."

"Rachel, be quiet for like, two seconds," Artie said coldly.

Rachel huffed and was about to retort when-

"They've got Mercedes and someone named Scott," Brittany said, completely ignoring the other girl. "Also, Rachel, 'such as I' isn't proper grammar."

Below, Vorkog began chattering into microphone on the control board.

"Wait, he's doing something else," Artie said, pointing toward Vorkog.

"ARTIE YOU MOVED YOUR HAND!" Brittany exclaimed, initiating a long and painfully awkward silence.

"I've always been able to move my upper torso," Artie responded after a moment.

"Oh," Brittany said. "But yeah, I guess Vorkog is about ready to spring some sort of trap on the team comprised of Kurt, Santana and that crazy famous hot girl named Envy."

"That's not good," Artie understated.

"Well, it's **not**," Brittany said, looking over at him, slightly irritated.

Artie raised his eyebrows. "What?"

Brittany stared at him for a moment longer. "Oh, you know it's really hard to tell when you're using those powers of sarcasm you were talking to me about."

**LIMA SHOPPING MALL – SAME TIME**

"You stinking bag of meat, I'll kill you." Only Envy had the ability to make such a statement sound perfectly calm and rational.

Stephen Stills was like a deer caught in the headlights (though headlights and a deer were traded for the evil medusa's gaze and a rugged Canadian, respectively).

"Um, can we all just calm down for a second?" Kurt broke in, hands held out before him in a calming gesture.

"No, we cannot just 'calm down'," Envy snapped. "We can kill, though." She began stalking toward Stephen.

"Maybe if I stand perfectly still," Stephen said quietly, "I'll disappear or you'll go away."

Envy frowned. "I can hear you."

"Look, sister," Santana said finally, stepping in front of her, "we aren't solving any of our current problems by fighting amongst each other."

Envy stopped, focusing her hateful gaze on Santana. "We are two kindred spirits, you and I," she said softly, a bit seductively. "We want the same thing."

Santana looked confused. "No. No, we don't. I don't even know this guy."

"We both desire retribution," Envy said. "I can see it in you. Can feel it in you." She put a hand on Santana's chest. "You're heart beats with the desire to right wrongs done to you."

Santana looked down at the floor. "Yeah, I guess you're right. But you got it wrong at the same time." She looked back up, straight into Envy's eyes. "I see now, you're just a pale reflection of what I could become. Literally, because your skin is like, ten shades lighter than mine."

"Really, both of you," Kurt said, folding his arms across his chest. "This has to be the worst time for verbal barbs EVER."

"No," Santana said, continuing. "It's the perfect time. Because she's right **and **wrong. I desire to right wrongs done to me…BY MYSELF"

Suddenly, she lashed out at Envy with a vicious backhand, but Envy was already moving, dodging backward in a white blur.

"Bitch," Envy spat.

Hummel," Santana said, "I've suddenly realized something really important. I've been hiding all along, doing injustices to myself and who I really am. When I snapped at you about Blaine earlier, I realized it was just because-"

"Shut the #$ up!" Envy screamed. She launched herself at Santana in an airborne kick, a white, deadly blur once more.

"Watch out!" Kurt yelled. He was moving now, too, diving toward Santana. Their bodies collided, but Kurt knocked Santana to the side, and Envy's blow hit him full force, sending him tumbling backward straight into Stephen's strong arms.

"That was pretty awesome, man," Stills said, looking down into Kurt's surprised and pained face.

"Why does awesome feel like fire?" Kurt asked weakly.

"You will **not** keep me from my revenge," Envy said in her deadly quiet voice, composed once again. "But first, weapons."

Running with uncanny speed down the mall hallway, Envy was soon out of sight, rounding the corner of the food court.

"After her now, lady-boys!" Santana exclaimed. "She's heading for the nerd-sword shop!"

"Damn it all," Stills grated out as Kurt staggered to his feet to follow his friend. Soon, he was following also, the image of Kurt's soulful eyes looking up at him burned into his memory.

"Wait," Kurt said, frowning as they ran. "She called us lady boys. Holy Streisand!" He snapped his head to the left to look at Stephen, who had come bounding up next to him as they entered the food court. "…so that means that you're…!"

"What the hell?" Stills eyes widened as he realized the implications of what Santana had said. "How could she possibly know…!"

Ahead of them, Santana craned her neck to look over her shoulder. "Gaydar," she said. "It's both a gift and a curse."

But it didn't matter, because Kurt was now looking at Stephen as though seeing him for not the second time. Meaning the first time.

**GROCERY STORE – STILL NIGHT (SERIOUSLY, THIS PART ISN'T GONNA CHANGE FOR AWHILE)**

_That…that son of a bitch, _Finn thought. Though he didn't really know what right he had to call Puck that. Puck didn't know how he felt. Finn hadn't even known how he felt until about five minutes ago. Puck's music had been done for a few minutes, and the grocery store was painfully silent, save for the distant sound of explosions. Finn sank to into a squat against the wall, unsure of what he should do next.

Puck leaned on the bathroom sink, elbows locked, body tilted forward, staring at his own eyes in the mirror. He had never been strong armed into doing anything before. Wallace was an unprecedented first for him, though something should be said about the fact that Puck had never fought a psychic before, either. It was hardly fair.

Even without the threat of being beaten to death, though, Puck could hardly keep going on like this, just pretending everything was ok.

_Yeah, _he thought to himself, _I guess I might seem totally secure and stuff but I have just as much to hide as anybody else. Kinda lame. _

Without warning, he heard a voice echoing throughout his mind, sounding as though it were coming from the bottom of a well. It said: _You are _such _a pussy. _Wallace.

_Get outta my head, you creep,_ Puck said with as much venom as he could muster in this ethereal phone line.

_No, _Wallace said simply. _You see, I've been doing a bit of digging. It seems that everything that has pushed you and Finn away has been your doing. It's like you're afraid of the fact that you like him. And I don't mean like him, I mean __**like**__ him, like him. Like love him. _

_Shut the hell up Wallace,_ Puck growled mentally. _This isn't any of your damn business. _

_I know, _Wallace countered. _That's why it's fun. There's something else too. Something about a baby? Did you sleep with Finn's girlfriend because you were JEALOUS OF HER! Even I would never do something like that!_

Puck shoved himself away from the sink, his face stony and dark. _That's it, you pasty-faced asshole. No one calls me a pussy. _It was time to straighten things out. Puck frowned at the irony of his own thought, and pushed the bathroom door open.

Finn was there, looking dejected, moping in a fashion that reminded Puck of a dog that had just been scolded. Finn looked up at Puck with his dark eyes, his lips slightly parted, but before Finn could say anything, he sat next to his gangly friend.

Puck began to speak. "I'm…AGH." This wasn't going to be easy.

"Yeah, I know," Finn said. "I feel the same way."

"I didn't even finish my sentence, dude," Puck responded.

"I just figured you were kinda…I dunno," Finn searched for words. "Tired of it all. If you don't want to be friends anymore I get it. I don't know why I was trying so hard to make something out of nothing. After what happened with Quinn and-"

"I slept with Quinn because I was trying to break you two up," Puck spat out.

There was silence now, a horrible, pregnant silence. Puck thought Finn might try to hit him. Instead Finn just looked over at him.

"Are you serious?" Finn was incredulous.

"Yeah," Puck said. "It wasn't fair. Well…I just didn't think it was fair."

Finn frowned. "You didn't think what was fair?"

Before Puck was able to clarify things for Finn, a pair of black shoes stopped in front of them, causing them both to glance up. It was Wallace, looking wildly bored and somewhat annoyed.

"You guys are completely effed up, you know that right?" he said, reaching down toward both of them. Finn and Puck tried to shrink away from his grasp, but he clamped a hand down on both of their skulls and yanked their heads forcefully so they gazed into each other's eyes once more, eliciting curses and confusion from both. "At this rate," Wallace said with a sigh, "this conversation could take another few hours and we honestly don't have the time for that right now. Let me help speed things along."

Suddenly, it was like Puck could see into Finn, could see the very essence of Finn's being, like a floodlight had just been turned on in a darkened room, shocking and brilliant. Tears formed at the cornersof Pucks eyes and began to trickle down his nose. He felt vague embarrassment at this, but Finn was occupied differently.

He saw everything Puck had been keeping from him, understood Puck's torture at having to see Finn with Quinn every day, and understood why it was he had slept with the poor girl. Finn understood now, **really** understood, because earlier he had felt the same thing Puck had felt: the searing pain caused by seeing someone you love kissing someone else, kissing someone that should've been you. That's what Puck didn't think was fair. That's why Puck avoided Finn, avoided his gaze and his presence. It was just too painful.

But that was all over now. This unexpected intrusion of Wallace had knocked down the pesky barriers they had erected around them in their insecure states, and there truly was nothing they didn't know about one another. It was like it had been years ago, when they were younger and the world was strange and beautiful, full of mysteries to be solved, full of new experiences to be had.

Wallace let go of them then, his face twisted in an expression of shock and horror. It was as though he had touched or smelled something that had mold growing upon it. "AAAAAAAGH!" His agonized scream caused Finn and Puck to jump slightly. "The two of you…"Wallace said, shaking his head, "are completely ridiculous. So many layers of filthy, filthy lies…" He staggered away from the two of them, shaking his head. "I'm gonna need some serious therapy after this. And to think that my psychic powers were a **gift. **A **gift!** I wonder if it's not too late to return them…" his voice faded as he disappeared around one of the shelves, leaving Finn and Puck alone once more.

"I…" Finn blinked, a little speechless, although this wasn't too different from his usual self.

"Yeah," Puck breathed. "I know."

They both sat there, staring straight ahead, until Finn glanced over at Puck again. "Hey." He let loose a genuine, unabashed grin. Puck returned his friend's gaze, and smiled too, a very small smile. He didn't make many of those, usually limiting himself to a predatory smirk, but he couldn't help himself.

The two of them sat there for a moment longer, just looking at each other, before nearly leaping across the space between them, crushing each other in a hug. Puck kissed Finn softly on the neck then, causing a small gasp of surprise to escape his friend. In fact, it surprised Puck a little as well. Finn looked pulled away a bit, giving himself just enough space to look Puck in the face, before bringing his mouth slowly forward.

Puck felt Finn's breath on his face, anticipation rising in him. _Please, God, just this once, _he thought, _let it not be a dream this time. _Then, their lips crashed together, slick with a salty, nervous sheen they didn't know they had, working their tongues into each other's mouths with urgency and purpose. After an endless moment, they pulled apart, gasping for breath. Another smile was shared between the two of them, and they leaned their foreheads together, just looking at one another.

"If you're through sucking face," Wallace's voice rang from across the store, "can we get on with finding our friends?"

Just then, a horrible sound, a shrieking of metal and the resounding crack of pavement and tile, caused Finn and Puck to jump to their feet. There was something coming toward them. Something huge. Finn was staring, dumbfounded.

Puck grabbed Finn by his shoulders. "MOVE! Get out the way, man!" This…thing, whatever it was, was almost upon them, and Puck was finally able to throw his friend to the ground. They felt a wall of air smash into them as the huge metal thing passed by. Puck thought he saw something that resembled a giant silver wheel, propelling itself, parting the four walls of the grocery store as though it were made of no more than butter.

Puck stood, who was followed by a trembling Finn.

"What the hell was that thing…?" Finn breathed.

"I don't know but it's headed for the freakin' mall!" Puck exclaimed.

**TO BE CONTINUED**

As always, reviews are appreciated Thanks for reading!


	7. Two Beasts: One In, One Out

_Thanks to everyone who's taken the time to read this story, favorite it or add it to your alerts!_

**HIGHWAY – NIGHT (YES, THIS ENTIRE STORY HAPPENS IN A SINGLE NIGHT)**

Sue sat behind the wheel of the school bus, driving them down the highway toward the other side of Lima. Will leaned forward. For some reason he couldn't fathom, he felt the need to speak just above a whisper. "Sue, where are you taking us?"

Sue jumped in her seat and glanced over at him with numbing disdain. "Good God William! You just shattered an important thought I was developing! I'm getting tired of your insistence on disturbing the profoundly complex workings of my brain." She turned back toward the road. "Then again, how could you ever understand the complex workings of my brain when your own skull is too tiny to hold anything bigger than the size of a peanut?"

Will sighed. "Could you please just answer my question?"

"I'm taking us to the airbase on the outskirts of town," Sue replied, eagerness clearly audible in her harsh voice. "We'll take a fighter jet and bombard the radio tower with missiles. That way, Pixie back there can transport us into the heart of the mothership with her magical subspace fairy powers!"

Knives sat up in her seat. "How do you know how to fly a jet? I thought you were a cheerleading coach," she peeped.

Sue glanced at her over the back of her chair. "Only the latest in a long list of professions I've since abandoned. I don't have time to go into the gory details at the moment, though I would love to, but I used to be part of a special ops strike force known to exist only by the highest levels of government."

"You mean like the CIA?" Knives asked.

"I didn't say the American government," Sue countered.

Ramona was looking out the window, watching the buildings blur past, wondering to herself about Sue's mental state. The woman had drug Ramona into a pit she was slowly coming out of, and that was no easy thing to do. Ramona loved Scott, and Sue, with a simple barb, had made her question things, had made Ramona lose her sense of joy. She'd even affected the indomitable Knives. The woman definitely had issues.

"What exactly is your goal here, Sue?" Ramona asked curiously. "You're going to take down this alien invader, become queen of the universe and then...what? You think people will love you after that?"

"What are you talking about, Cotton Candy?" Sue asked quietly, obviously replacing Ramona's name with another half-baked pseudonym.

"You must be lonely," Ramona responded simply, "since it seems the only joy you're able to derive from life is by crushing other people's souls.

Sue didn't flinch. "I feed on other people's misery and sorrow. Your plaintive cries for mercy and your feeble attempts to make me **feel **only cause me to grow in strength and power."

Will took a step away from her chair.

Ramona raised an eyebrow and was about to make a witty, biting comment when the idea was shattered by a loud, metal shrieking noise. Running parallel to them on the highway, catching up to the bus, was a gargantuan metal wheel. The thing was the size of a three-story building, and an expansive metal platform was suspended between the wheels as they rolled, remaining level. On the platform, Ramona could see what looked like various weapon emplacements and...where those prison cells on the bottom level of the platform? It looked to be some sort of large tank with holding cells! Alien, of course. She could see, though a viewport in the center of the platform, one top-heavy invaders working the controls.

"What the freakin' crap is that!" Knives exclaimed in horror. Her shock only increased as it proceeded to smash through the grocery store, leveling it. Ramona thought she caught a glimpse of someone in the rubble (was it Wallace?), but they were moving too fast and the ruined building was gone in an instant.

"It's a Herder!" Sue shouted. "When I fought the Russians at the end of the Cold War, they used bits of alien technology to capture our forces on the ground. They looked almost exactly like that!"

"When you say things like that," Will said, "it makes me wonder how old you really are or if you're even human."

Suddenly, Ramona's eyes met those of the alien's. "Guys," she said, "it sees us."

Abruptly, without warning, the giant Herder changed it's path, swinging toward the freeway, ripping up pavement as it went and destroying a pet store. "That was unnecessary," Ramona commented offhandedly.

Then, everything when to hell. The Herder smashed through the highway, knocking a huge chunk of it clear with it's giant metal treads. The chunk of pavement slammed through the top of a donut shop-

"NO!" Will exclaimed. "I've been stopping there before school! They're really good!"

Sue shot him a look. "No wonder you've been developing a paunch."

-and the Herder kept rolling, heading for the mall, but not before firing a curious metal pod from one of it's weapons cylinders. Sue slammed on the bus' brakes, sending it into a fishtailing skid. The bus was coming ever closer to the gap at a strange, diagonal angle. Everything seemed to move in slow motion, and Ramona vaguely registered Knives going "EEEEEEEEEEE-" in anticipation of them tumbling over the edge of the freeway and plummeting to their untimely deaths.

That didn't happen, though. Due to Sue's Nascar-level driving skills, which she must have scooped up on her strange, convoluted and unfathomable life's journey, they stopped just at the edge of the highway. The two front wheels of the bus teetered in mid-air, still spinning. Ramona breathed again, not realizing until now that she had been holding her breath.

Knives wasn't so easily relieved, though. She pointed out the window of the bus, and the three other passengers looked over to see the metal pod that the Herder had fired. It had crashed onto the highway, cracking the concrete around it. It sat in foreboding silence, only a few yards away from their teetering bus. "That's probably not something we want to be near," Knives intoned darkly.

On cue, the pod cracked at the seams and air hissed from it's confines. All four passengers found themselves transfixed as...something...began to emerge slowly from within. It was pale all over, like the aliens, but had six, chitinous legs and a long, armored snout. Tentacles protruded from it's underbelly, and eight, horrible, black eyes settled balefully on Ramona, Sue, Knives and Will.

Ramona wrinkled her nose. "It's like some...weird...dog...crab...octopus...armadillo thing."

There was the thud of dead weight. The women glanced over to see that Will had fainted. He lay inert along the bus' narrow aisle.

"I really have nothing more to say at this point," Sue said.

The hideous creature darted toward the back of the bus, it's claws _click clacking _as it ran along the pavement. It grabbed hold of the bus' emergency door with it's sharp snout and tore, eliciting a horrendous shrieking noise as it did so. Ramona clamped her hands over her ears. The sound that came from the thing's mouth was like glass, chalkboards, nails and ambulance sirens, all combined into one. She thought she might be next to faint.

"Ramona, your hammer!" Knives shouted, drawing her own weapons.

Sue was manhandling the bus' stick shift, trying to force it all the way back up onto the broken highway, but it seemed to be lodged in place.

Ramona reached into her bag and received a static shock that caused her to tingle unpleasantly. Her hand hit the fabric at the back of the bag. "Damn! They're subspace jamming's spreading! I can't teleport! Can't get my...my shit!" She was going into a very un-Ramona-like panic. That thing was possibly the most grotesque thing she'd ever seen in her life, barring Envy's personality.

The lobster-dog-octopus-armadillo jumped into the bus, wedging it's thick body into the narrow aisle, bending the metal of the emergency door around it. Knives jumped in front of Ramona and made to stab out two of the thing's eyes with her tsai, fear evident despite her brave front. One of the thing's tentacles shot forward, wrapping itself around Knives' arm before she was able to get a strike in. Her eyes widened in pure horror. Her arm seized, went numb, and she couldn't help but watch as her weapon tumbled from her grasp.

The tsai clattered onto the narrow aisle, a hollow sound that filled Ramona with despair...and then fierce, burning determination that welled up from her core. She snapped out of her panic just in time, rushing forward, vaulting over the seat next to Knives and kicking the beast straight in the side of the jaw. She was rewarded with a sharp cracking sound and the beast reeled, roaring. Every window in the bus shattered outward, sharp glass disappearing into the night.

Sue jumped from the driver's seat, abandoning her efforts to get the bus moving again. She kicked Will harshly in the side, eliciting a groan from the man.

The tentacle around Knives' arm slackened, and she dove forward, stabbing the beast in the eye with her remaining tsai. It thrashed about, knocking both she and Ramona into seats on opposite sides of the bus, which had begun rocking back and forth as the creature writhed.

Sue slapped Will in the face. "I'm glad I finally had an excuse to do that," she said to herself. Will blinked, coming to.

Suddenly, the bus, rocking dangerously, TILTED FORWARD.

It slid with the grinding of metal on concrete, tipping, driver-side down, into the open air. Ramona, Knives and Sue gripped the backs of the chairs, clinging for dear life as the bus went vertical. Knives was forced to drop her remaining weapon, and it tumbled out one of the windows, disappearing from sight. She looked after it longingly, mentally bidding the trusty object "farewell". Meanwhile, the creature dug it's claws into the aisle of the bus and Mr. Schuester landed with a heavy thud between the baseboard of the bus aisle and the bus's control deck, groaning in pain.

Their fall was jolted to a shocking stop as a piece of metal framework protruding from the cracked, cross-section of the highway cut into the underside of the bus. It tore through the metal, catching the falling vehicle like a hook, like the arthritic finger of some old hag, RIPPING toward Ramona. She released her grip on the back of the chair, falling one row of seats down before grabbing hold of the back of the seat below. The metal piping obliterated the chair she had clung to only a moment before and finally stopped, hooking through one of the broken windowpanes, bending the metal outward.

Everything was quiet for an instant after that, the bus dangling from the piece of metal high above the street below, looking for all the world like a caterpillar's cocoon suspended from a tree branch. The entire framework of the vehicle moaned, creaking as it swung back and forth on the metal piping.

The monstrosity began to climb up the aisle of the bus toward the torn-up emergency door. Knives pulled herself up onto the back of the chair to which she clung, her nimble, lithe form fitting between the two rows of seats. She cast about, looking for something, anything, to get them out of their predicament, until her heel hit something wedged between her seat and the side of the bus: the tsai she head dropped when the creature tentacle-attacked her.

Ramona glanced over at her. "Knives, be careful!"

Knives snatched the tsai from where it lay wedged and arched her arm, leaning outward from her perch by gripping the seat above her with her free hand. Taking a moment to aim, she flung her tsai at the monstrosity's front leg. The weapon hit true with a sickening THUD, and the shock of the blow sent the beast tumbling outward and away from the bus aisle. Ramona, Sue and Knives leaned away as far as they could, hugging up against the sides of the bus as the beast fell. It bashed into the rows of seats as it rushed past, snapping them clean as though they were no more than toothpicks. All three women released their grips on the chairs, hanging instead onto the edges of the broken windows, the only thing remaining to hold onto.

There was the rush of foul air as the creature blurred past. Will saw it coming at the last minute and jumped for the broken front window of the driver-side door. He was just in time as the monster cannon-balled through the front of the bus, taking the entire nose of the vehicle with it. Will's legs dangled over the deadly drop. A look of dread crossed his face; the driver door was coming unhinged.

Below, the creature met the ground, spattering all over the middle of the street and coating a fire hydrant, a mail box and a parking meter with viscous liquid.

Sue was beginning to climb up the windows as though they were the rungs of a ladder, when Will's voice came up to her from below.

"Sue!" he called. "Help me! Please!"

Sue looked down at him, and their eyes met. When nothing else happened for a long moment, Knives and Ramona glanced down as well. Sue was just staring at Will as the remaining hinge of the driver door slowly weakened, staring into the eyes of her bitter enemy. Seconds passed, and Ramona noticed that the piece of metal the bus was suspended on was slowly bending downward under the weight of the vehicle. She cursed under her breath.

Will was panicking. "Sue...?"

Ramona held her breath. Knives' eyes were wide with trepidation.

Finally, after a long moment, Sue reached down, grabbing Will's hand. His feet scrabbled for purchase and finally finding some, Sue released him, allowing him to hold onto the bus by himself.

"Sue," he said, "I..."

But she turned away and began climbing again.

The moaning of the bus was growing steadily, like an approaching army of undead. It jolted downward once more before jerking to another stop, causing Ramona's breath to catch in her throat. "Hurry!" she called, though it wasn't needed. All four of them were climbing for their lives up the inside of the bus.

Making it out the torn back door of the bus, all of them threw themselves onto the pavement. They gasped for air, all wanting to kiss the ground but afraid of the germs there. Behind them, the bus gave one, final, metallic cry before tumbling off the highway and landing with a resounding crash on the street below, leaving the night quiet once more.

The four unlikely companions rose to their feet, looking at one another. Will was staring at Sue with an unfathomable expression on his face. "Sue...I thought...I thought you were going to let me go."

"For a second, William," she said quietly, "so did I."

"I don't know how to thank you, Sue," Will breathed. "You saved my life. I owe you."

"Don't mention it," she muttered.

"No, I'm serious," Will said. "If there's anything you need back at school, any favors, anyth-"

Sue cut him off with a wave of her hand. "And I'M serious. Don't mention this. Ever. To anyone."

Knives allowed herself a small smile. "See? You aren't all bad. No one's all bad. Do you feel anything now?"

Sue just shrugged. "Doesn't matter. Anyway, I almost let you go, Schuester. You wrenched my arm with your..." she stared at his stomach. "...generous..ness."

Will blinked. Ramona laughed out loud, a half-manic laugh of relief and joy. They'd beat all odds and made it out in one piece. "I can't help but appreciate the irony of this whole...experience," she said.

Sue turned toward her. "You shut your filthy mouth."

In the distance, Knives watched as the giant, metal Herder neared the mall, leaving a trail of devastation in it's wake. "What now?" she asked.

"Now," Ramona said, "we walk."

**TO BE CONTINUED**


	8. Willpower

_Thanks to everyone for their kind reviews!_

**REMAINS OF THE GROCERY STORE – NIGHT**

Puck blinked into Finn's eyes. The tall, gangly boy was lying atop him in the heap of rubble, smiling goofily down at him.

"What now, Hudson?" Puck said, voice flat. "You think you're my girlfriend or something?"

Finn's smile faded for a moment, then came back in full force as Puck's stony face faltered. He got up, extending an arm to Puck. Wallace appeared, floating through the air across the rubble, like a leaf on the wind, but without all the awkward looping circles, and settled next to them.

"Everyone in one piece?" he asked.

Puck and Finn stood once more, staring through the huge gash that been torn through the building. They could see the metal Herder rolling off. It curved toward the highway for some reason, smashing through the concrete before heading off in the direction of the mall.

"Well?" Wallace said. "Shall we?"

Puck gave Finn a cursory up and down glance, then brushed some dust off the taller boy's shoulder. Wallace just shook his head at them. Puck and Finn exited the grocery store, hop-skipping across stones. Wallace just floated after them.

"So...while we're looking for the others," Finn began, "say we do run into more aliens..."

"We'll be fine," Puck said confidently. "We'll destroy them."

"Actually," Wallace said with a faint smile. "That's probably true."

He settled back onto the street in front of them as they cleared the ruins of the store. "You see," he continued, "a lotta people don't realize this, but the **will **to fight is often more important than the skill involved. At least in my experience." He looked between Puck and Finn. "When I connected your minds, I felt something click. You two have each other now, something to fight **for. **You've got nothing **but **will."

"Stop," Puck said. "You're making me nauseous."

"Okay," Wallace sighed, "you're not fooling me with that little hard-ass act of yours. It's getting old. You're forgetting I can read your mind."

Puck looked sheepish, Finn squeezed his shoulder, and their trek along the wake of the giant Herder continued.

**ATMOSPHERIC ATTACK VESSEL – HANGAR BAY - SAME TIME**

The aliens thudded to the slick, reflective ground. Mercedes looked down at them, then looked up at the skinny white kid holding the flaming sword.

"Holy Jesus," she said. "Where did you get that thing?"

"The power of love," the skinny white kid said, shrugging.

"Er..." Mercedes shifted awkwardly. "You're skills are impressive and all,"she said slowly, "but I'm not really...into you...that way."

"No, no, no," the skinny white kid said patiently. "I wasn't talking about you."

"That's a relief," Mercedes said. "I'm Mercedes." She extended her hand.

"I'm Scott," Scott said, giving Mercedes' hand a shake.

The two of them stood in a wide, circular chamber. A huge shaft in the middle of the room was open to the city below. They had been whisked up here by two aliens on jet-packs, but only because Scott had let them. Once aboard, he had pulled the Sword of the Power of Love from his heart and drove it through both alien's chests, easy as that. Both of the creatures lie beside them, smoke pouring from their wounds.

"So..." Mercedes said. "Do you have any idea what we're doing up here?"

"I think it's obvious, don't you?" Scott replied. That sentence might have sounded rude coming from someone else, but he had a soft way of speaking that made it sound as though he were trying to help Mercedes understand the situation for herself, rather than criticize her.

Mercedes was about to reply when the bodies of both the aliens suddenly exploded with a sound like shattering glass. She yelped aloud, jumping backward. When she looked down again, a pile of change lie where both the bodies had once been.

"I wouldn't worry about that," Scott said. "It's perfectly normal for things to explode into piles of money when I'm around."

"I'm pretty sure I'm gonna wake up in a minute," Mercedes said. "But I'll just go with the flow for now."

Scott ran across the chamber, heading for the opening to a hallway that seemed to lead deeper into the ship. His Converse made hollow slapping noises in the cavernous room. "C'mon," he said. "We'll have better chances if we work together."

Mercedes followed. "Better chances of what?"

"Finding the engines of the ship," Scott said. "Bringing them down so they can't get away with our friends."

"I like the way you think," Mercedes replied. They were in the hallway now, running along the reflective, polished corridor. "But," she continued, "I should probably say I like the way **I **think, since this is just a dream and you're a projection of my subconscious."

Scott glanced over at her as they arrived at a T junction. He paused, then headed left. "Let's go this way. And I'm real, you know."

"Of course you are," Mercedes said. "You're a real part of my dream."

"What do you remember?" Scott asked. "Do you remember what happened before we got here?"

"Well, yeah." Mercedes said. "Me and my classmates were watching your band perform."

"So this can't be a dream," Scott countered.

"The other part could have been a dream, too," Mercedes pointed out. "I went unconscious in the concert hall. This could be like...a dream within the dream I was already having."

Scott pondered this for a moment, and an expression of awe began to form on his face. "A dream within a dream..." he breathed. Then, the expression of awe suddenly faded, and he shook his head. "Geeze, that's a dumb idea."

Mercedes shrugged. "Whatever. You saying that just means I think it's a dumb idea, too, since you're not real."

**LIMA SHOPPING MALL – SAME TIME**

Envy gripped the hand rail of the escalator, swinging her momentum around, and running up the powered-off steps. The other three, Santana, Kurt and Stephen Stills were right behind her.

"Santana," Kurt said loudly between breaths as they ran, "what did you mean earlier when you said you'd figured out something important?"

"I meant I realized why I snapped at you earlier," she said. "I'll tell you later. After we deal with Envy."

Envy looked over her shoulder as she crested the top of the escalator. "Stop talking about me behind my back!"

Stephen yelled back up at her. "Would you prefer us to talk to you in front of your back!"

"Shut up Stephen!" she snapped. "Even though I find you ruggedly attractive in a sort of sad, puppy dog kind of way, nothing you say makes very much sense!" Envy ran across the top of the mall's second story walkway, heading for the locked doors of the store "Cutting Edge".

Envy sprung forward, vaulting into a flying kick and smashing through the glass like a white torpedo. She landed in a crouch on the carpeted floor amidst the scattered shards. Santana was right behind her, running past her with unbroken momentum. Kurt and Stills followed.

Envy sprang up, snatching Stephen by the throat as he passed, but Kurt was right there, slamming a karate chop into Envy's neck. She coughed, backing up across the floor of the store. Kurt found himself standing in front of Stephen protectively, though he wasn't sure why. He barely knew the guy. And where had he learned how to do karate anyway? It wasn't like he'd had any training...but there was something that had been said earlier, about the will to fight. Maybe he really did have the will, after all.

Santana, meanwhile, ran to the nearest wall, where various sharp blades where being held on display. She snatched a katana off two hooks embedded there, drawing the weapon from it's sheathe with a high, ringing sound. Her hair tossed about her as she turned to face Envy, spinning on one heel, looking for all the world like the picture-perfect action heroine.

Envy's hand ran along the wall behind her...searching... "You know," Envy said darkly, looking at Santana, "if you like, take out one of the n's in your name, and one of the a's...then your name spells 'Satan'."

"Wow," Santana replied, voice dripping with sarcasm, "that's a **good **one. You should really consider doing stand up comedy instead of singing because your voice just can't measure up to-"

Envy's hand came across metal, and she dashed at Santana, cutting off her tirade. In Envy's hand was a two-headed battleaxe! Santana barely had time to whip her weapon up and deflect.

"Okay, I really don't want to be here right now," Stephen said, backing away.

"I'm not just going to stand by and watch!" Kurt declared, readying himself to attack.

"No!" Santana exclaimed. "She's mine!"

Envy swung at Santana viciously, forcing the dark haired girl to back away. Kurt and Stephen dodged to the side, and the battle carried Envy and Santana out the door onto the second-story walkway. There's was a moment of awkward silence as Kurt and Stephen just stood there.

"So..."Stephen said. "Your name's Kurt, right?"

"Oh, yeah," Kurt said, suddenly feeling flustered. "I didn't even introduce myself. I apologize." He gave a nervous laugh, offering a hand to Stephen. "Kurt Hummel."

"Stephen Stills," Stephen Stills replied. Stephen took Kurt's hand, and thought he felt a slight electric charge pass between them, though it could have been because they were standing on static-charged carpet. He couldn't be absolutely sure.

Still fighting, Santana landed a kick on Envy's stomach. The bright-haired girl backpedaled into the railing of the second-story walkway. Santana brought her blade down for a death-stroke, but envy spun away just in time. _CHNK! _Santana's katana bit into the railing.

"Those are some pretty sweet clothes you're wearing," Stephen offered.

"Oh?" Kurt seemed gratified. "You think so?"

"Yeah," Stills said, shrugging slightly. "They're like, you know, unique or whatever. You stick out in a good way. I noticed you from onstage."

Kurt was about to speak, but his mouth opened and closed twice before he gave up. He laughed nervously again and brushed a stray strand of hair back into place.

They turned back to the battle. Envy's axe was making _WHOOSHING _sounds as it cut through the air. Santana was turning aside the blows with slight movements of her own weapon, never actually taking the full inertial force of Envy's attacks. She only turned the hits aside, using Envy's momentum against her. Finally, Envy put too much into one strike, and Santana grabbed Envy's arm as it shot past. She, pulled, then pushed, tipping Envy over the railing of the walkway. Envy screamed in surprise, but had enough presence of mind to grab hold of Santana's jacket. In the blink of an eye, both girls went tumbling over the railing into the food court below.

"Oh my god!" Kurt exclaimed.

He and Stills ran over to the railing, leaning over to see what had become of the two combatants. Their fall had been broken by a canvas-topped smoothie stand and both of their weapons had been jarred free of their grips. Envy rolled off the canvas awning and Santana landed on the tile floor of the food court next to her immediately after. Envy launched into a series of deadly knee and elbow strikes, forcing Santana backward through rows of tables.

"Well, that's a relief," Kurt sighed. "Anyway, what I wanted to tell you was that you have an...interesting voice."

"Really?" Stills asked, hopeful. "Is it like, good interesting? Like you'd wanna hear more of it or like interesting in a 'you're voice sucks but I don't know the right words for that' kinda way? Be honest here, I'm really trying."

Kurt smiled at him genuinely. "Your voice is raw. But it's strong, and you've got a lot of potential. I could certainly help you with it one day, if you'd like."

Stills considered Kurt for a moment. "Are you like a vocal coach or something?"

"Er," Kurt stammered. "No, but my fellow chorus members ask me for advice a lot of the time. I guess I just have a good ear for these sorts of things."

"Uh-huh," Stills said easily. "So...what...are you like...asking me out or something?"

"Huh?" Kurt's eyes widened and his pale face flushed to a deep red. "N-n-o, I-"

"Cuz it would be totally cool if you did," Stephen said shrugging. "I wouldn't even mind or anything."

A loud exclamation rose up from below, and the conversation held between the two young men was forced to a halt. They glanced down to see Santana being thrown onto her back atop one of the tables. Envy jumped up after her, pinning her onto the table with one knee. She clutched Santana's throat, her eyes cold.

"You think you're so much better than me," Envy grated out, "but you're just a little girl with a big ego who got in over her head for the last time. You're going to die here. Because I'm going to choke you to death. And then I'm going to choke Stephen Stills to death. And maybe girlie-pants, too. After I get a few style tips from him."

"I'll never tell you anything!" Kurt yelled.

"You're...urk..." Santana couldn't get her voice out.

"Last words?" Envy cooed. She loosened her grip a bit.

"You're trying to hide things, too." Santana gasped. "We all do. To claim otherwise is just going to make it worse. It's just going to make you more of a bitch."

She slammed her forehead into Envy's, causing the other girl to reel backward. Envy put both hands there, just below her hairline, moaning in dazed pain.

Santana stood, rubbing her neck. "You've got all the markings of someone who's got something pent -up inside of you, trapped behind walls of ice. I know. I'm like that, too. You're not fooling anyone but yourself, and you're letting your issues get in the way of our operation."

Envy stared balefully at Santana. "Psychoanalyzing me isn't going to work. Not going to fall for that."

"Don't fall for anything, then." Santana shrugged. "But...let me guess. Stephen is someone from your past. Someone who knows who you really are. He and this...Scott Pilgrim person...are reminders of what you hate about yourself."

Envy blinked at her.

Santana sighed, shifting her weight to one leg. "I get it. I do what you do all the time. Hopefully, after tonight, I'll just get over it, but for now, you've got to put your hang-ups away. We've got **shit **to do."

"That was quite the impassioned speech," Envy purred, "but I am what I am now. No changing that. I don't tolerate those that have wronged me. Their existence makes me feel like the world sucks. Then I feel like **I** suck. I don't like feeling that way. Thus, Stephen Stills and Scott must die. And you too, because you're #$%ing annoying." She jumped at Santana.

Santana sighed again. "Thought so." She dodged to the side, bringing up one long leg. Her knee met Envy's stomach, and they stayed frozen like that for two full seconds as Envy doubled up over Santana's limb, the air rushing from her stomach. She collapsed then, landing on the floor in a starlight-colored heap.

Kurt and Stephen ran down the escalator toward her, weaving through the food court tables. Santana smiled. It wasn't one of her usual, snarky, cat-that-ate-the-mouse smiles, but one of actual, genuine happiness. "Kurt, I've got to tell you."

"Yeah?" Kurt asked breathlessly.

"I was so harsh on you before," she began, "because...because of me...because I'm...I'm in love with Brittany."

Kurt blinked at her. "Excuse me? What?"

"I love her," Santana said simply. "I had to tell somebody that. We might die."

"So...okay..." Kurt shook his head in disbelief. "What does that have to do with me?"

"Because," Santana said, giving an exasperated sigh. "I was harsh on you and it made me realize that I might as well be harsh on myself, too. I hadn't even acknowledged it before, but if you're afraid of taking things into hand and getting what you want out of life...I'm worse. The girl of my dreams was right in front of me all along. She always has been. And tonight, I'm going to be the one to save her."

There was silence then, Santana just basking in her new openness, unbelievably relived, the weight lifted off her shoulders.

Stephen sniffed. "That was beautiful."

Kurt stared at him. This guy was serious.

Their reverie, however brief, was broken then. The entire side of the mall burst inward, chunks of concrete, tile and metal flying at them. Santana, Kurt and Stephen all ducked for cover under the food court tables, their constant fire and earthquake drills at school finally paying off. As the smoke cleared, they peaked out to see the Herder in all it's massive, metal, wheeled glory, looming above them.

Stephen was the first to speak. "Holy freedom fries, what the hell is that thing?"

"Looks like the aliens decided to send us a welcoming party," Kurt said.

Santana's eyes darted about the debris-strewn food court, but could find no trace of Envy.

There was a _WHUMPING_ noise, and one of the weapon barrels on the Herder's command platform fired. A metal pod smashed into the ground only a few yards from their hiding place, glinting in a shaft of moonlight that streamed in through a broken piece of ceiling. And then..._WHUMP, WHUMP, WHUMP _as more pods began to fall toward them. _WHUMP, WHUMP, WHUMP..._

**TO BE CONTINUED**


	9. Before We Die

**LIMA SHOPPING MALL – RUINED FOOD COURT – NIGHT**

Santana's face twisted into a mask of sheer disgust. The most hideous things she'd ever seen in her life were emerging from within the pods. They were large, bigger than a dog, smaller than a horse, like some strange combination of armadillos, octopi, and lobsters.

"Oh god, what...what are those...?" Kurt's face had lost it's color, and his mouth had gone dry.

"Boys..." Santana said quietly. "On the count of three..."

More were emerging even as they watched, and there had to be at least fifteen of the things, beginning to fan out into the food court, their claws making metallic, scrabbling noises as they shifted through the rubble. The Herder remained where it was, resting silently as the dust settled, the big-headed pilot watching from behind his viewport as the monstrosities began sniffing the ground.

"One..." Santana began, but one of the creatures turned it's head toward them, it's eight, black eyes focusing on her. "Nevermind!" Stephen exclaimed. "Let's just go **now**!"

He dashed from under the table and Kurt was quick to give chase. Santana threw a glance over her shoulder. "Wait! Guys!" But she was up and running too. They made for the escalator. The pack of monstrosities dashed after them, loping through chunks of concrete and upturned tables. Their ear-piercing, warbling, hunting cries echoed through the empty building.

Kurt, Santana and Stills were on the escalator now, their feet hammering into the unmoving steps. Kurt and Stills made it to the top and turned to see one of the beasts scrambling up after them, it's claws gripping the rail on either side of the stairs - just behind Santana.

"C'mon!" Kurt called.

Santana's foot hit the top step, but one of the beast's tentacles lashed out at her, wrapping around her neck, sloppy and wet. She gagged, eyes bulging and began to tip backward. Below, more of the beasts swarmed toward the foot of the escalator.

Stills turned back for Santana, cocking one of his arms back. With a grunt of effort, he slugged the thing right in one of it's big, black eyes. The creature squealed in agony, but didn't release Santana. Kurt came at it next, snapping a kick upward under the thing's jaw. The blow caused the monster's jagged maw to snap closed on it's own tongue, eliciting more squeals of pain. The tongue released Santana of it's own accord...and fell to the ground, separated from the creatures' mouth. It rolled down the stairs with sickly squelching sounds, flopping about like a fish out of water.

Santana turned, eyes wide with revulsion, and gave the creature a shove with her shoulder. It crashed down the stairs, slamming into one of the escalator's side guards and shattering the glass there. It crashed into it's brethren at the foot of the stairs, but more were soon climbing over the pile of tangled limbs and tentacles, intent only on catching their quarry.

"You guys," she said hoarsely as they ran again, "the tentacles...they..." she coughed. "They numb you." She had a hand up, and was slapping the side of her neck lightly, like she was trying to assure herself it was still there.

"Good to know," Stills responded drily, shaking drops of dark eye-jelly from his fist. They spattered to the tile in a trail behind him.

They ran back into the "Cutting Edge" shop through it's broken glass doors and wasted no time in yanking weapons from the walls. Santana took another katana to replace the one she'd lost, Stephen took a one-handed short sword that looked like something from The Lord of the Rings, and Kurt claimed a pair of tsai.

Stills glanced at the weapons in Kurt's hands. "I know somebody who likes those things, too."

"Is that so?" Kurt asked. "Does your friend group often require the use of weapons on a daily basis?"

Stills scratched the side of his rough face. "Actually..."

"Now's not the time for flirting!" Santana snapped, facing the door of the shop.

Kurt frowned slightly. "That was flirting?"

"If you want to see flirting," Stills said, "I can show you flirting, but that wasn't flirting."

There was an ear-shattering warble/roar, and one of the monstrosities skidded on the tile just past the door, wheeling about and heading right for them, it's claws _click-clacking. _It jumped for Santana, mouth wide.

Santana cleared her throat as the beast came closer. "In case the two of you forgot-" She drove her blade up into the creature's throat as it careened through the air toward her. The blade slammed up into it's brain, it's eyes went hazy, and Santana stepped swiftly to the side, allowing the creature's dead bulk to crash to the ground just behind her. "-we've got just a tiny little problem here. I mean, tiny compared to the giant-ass UFO hovering a few blocks away. Do you think it would be too much trouble to concentrate on killing these things?"

"Not at all, not all," Stephen responded amiably.

"I think we should get behind the counter," Kurt said. "We'll have more cover there."

"Good idea," Santana said. "We won't get surrounded that way."

Their confidence wavered, though, as the _click-clacking _of dozens of claws drew steadily closer. Stills swallowed, Kurt let out a nervous little laugh and Santana gritted her teeth as they backed up further into the shop, brandishing their weapons. Things were going to get messy.

**STREETS OF LIMA – SAME TIME**

Wallace paused, looking toward the mall, where the Herder had stopped. Finn and Puck glanced at one another, then over at Wallace in curiosity as he closed his eyes. Puck thought he saw his hair shift slightly, as though it were in a breeze.

Wallace opened his eyes once again. "There's people in there," he said. "I could feel one of my friends."

"Then what are we waiting for?" Finn asked.

**ATMOSPHERIC ATTACK VESSEL – COMMAND BRIDGE**

Vorkog was flipping his lid, running about the command platform, waving his spindly arms, big head swiveling back and forth.

"I demand to know what's happening!" Rachel exclaimed from where she floated, helpless.

"Yeah, something doesn't seem right," Artie said observantly.

Brittany looked over at them. "His little helper aliens lost Mercedes and Scott," she said in her breathy tone. "They're headed for the engine rooms."

Below the command platform, in the crew pits, Artie could see the other alien officers scurrying about, frantically doing whatever it was that their respective jobs entailed. One didn't need to be able to understand their language to know that they were filled with panic which, in turn, filled Artie with hope.

"Wait...so Mercedes isn't coming here?" Rachel asked loudly. "Ugh, then there still won't be any other strong characters for me to play off of!"

**ATMOSPHERIC ATTACK VESSEL – ENGINE CHAMBERS**

The humming and clanking of machinery filled the cavernous room. Mercedes followed Scott deeper into the complicated mess of pipes, turbines and other, un-classifiable things, his fiery sword lighting the way in the otherwise inky-black room. Mercedes was beginning to wonder if she really did have the capacity to dream all of this up, or if this was...for **real**.

In the center of the chamber, a massive block of machinery loomed before them, a cylindrical slab of metal that was connected by pipes to every other part of the room.

"This is it," Scott said breathlessly. "This is the thing we have to break."

"How are we gonna do that?" Mercedes asked. "That thing is huge."

"You're right," Scott sighed. He looked around for something to use. His sword of the power of love certainly wasn't going to do the trick. Finally, his eyes settled on Mercedes. "Can you sing? You said you were in some kind of club where the students sing all the time instead of actually talking like normal people?"

"Uh," Mercedes began, "not in those exact words, but sure..."

There was a steadily growing sound coming from the hall behind them, and Mercedes began to realize it was the marching footsteps of more aliens coming their way. Her heart began to race. What did she have to worry about, though? They weren't real, right? What did it matter?

Scott grabbed Mercedes by the shoulders. "Listen to me," he said, eyes drilling into hers, "you have to sing right now. It's gotta be loud, something high and bright sounding!"

Mercedes raised an eyebrow. "What? No, you're crazy."

"Yeah, I've been called that before," Scott agreed, "but it's the only thing that'll take this out."

"That doesn't make any sense."

"Look, if you think this is a dream," Scott said, talking more quickly as the footsteps drew near, "then it doesn't matter. If it's a dream it'll **work**."

Mercedes sighed. He had a point. "Fine." She stepped forward.

"Okay," Scott said, "put your heart into it."

Mercedes glanced back at him and he gave a reassuring nod. Shrugging, she opened her mouth and..._sang. _She belted out a high, pure note, putting her entire body to it, her mouth open wide, her eyes closed. Scott released his blade, which vanished in a ball of smoke and fire, then clamped his hands over his ears. It wasn't because it sounded bad. On the contrary, it sounded beautiful...**too** beautiful. Had anything alive listened to that voice for more than a second, said living thing would've been made a dead thing, such was the power of her voice in that moment.

Her voice became visible, the sound waves moving through the air toward the engine block and colliding with the metal. The giant, cylindrical piece of machinery bent backward under the force of the sound. It was torn from it's housing, sparks flying and wires snapping at the air. Mercedes screamed in surprise as flying pieces of metal shrapnel shot toward her. Scott was faster; he looped a long, skinny arm around her, pulling her to the side. With one, last, resounding crash as it landed on the floor of the chamber, the engine block was destroyed.

"I..." Mercedes stammered, "I didn't know I could do that. This is...this is real, isn't it?

"Yup," Scott said.

A platoon of aliens streamed through the doorway just then, taking cover behind protruding pipes. They were all dressed in stark white, with no helmets. Something in the air onboard the ship allowed them to breathe properly, it seemed. Rifles were raised, and blue bolts of energy filled the air.

In Scott's hand, his fiery blade sparked to life.

**ATMOSPHERIC ATTACK VESSEL – COMMAND BRIDGE**

The bridge of the vessel bucked and churned. Vorkog was knocked from his feet, landing unceremoniously on his back. His headdress toppled from this swollen skull, rolling and falling down into the crew pits. Rachel, Artie and Brittany were all screaming.

The ship was descending slowly, gradually. The smaller, oval-shaped cruiser vessels that were clustered about the radio tower began to slide through the air as fast as their ponderous forms could carry them, trying to avoid the falling mothership.

"They've made a terrible mistake." Brittany said flatly. "Scott and Mercedes are just going to make things worse."

**LIMA SHOPPING MALL – CUTTING EDGE**

There had just been too many of them. Santana, Kurt and Stephen huddled in the backroom of the "Cutting Edge" shop. All three were seated with their backs pressed up against the door, bracing a stack of heavy boxes they'd put there. Their weapons lie at their feet. The steady _THUD, THUD, THUD, _of the grotesque creatures slamming into the door was chipping slowly away at their peace of mind. They had nowhere to go, no other options in front of them. Those boxes and their weight wouldn't hold the door forever. They could only wait.

"So..." Kurt began, "I don't quite understand."

"What about this don't you understand, Hummel?" Santana asked irritably.

"You said Brittany was the girl of your dreams," he said.

"I did," Santana said quietly.

"But everybody is already acutely aware of the fact that the two of you like to mess around," Kurt continued. "You flaunt it on a day-to-day basis."

Santana looked up at him, an uncharacteristic vulnerability coating her features. "But that's the thing. I've always tried to play it up like it doesn't matter, like it's just for fun. But I actually...I love her. If I see her end up with the cripple, I don't know what I'll..." she trailed off, squeezing her fists, then slumped, defeated. "But we're probably going to die. She'll end up with him and I won't even have had the chance to tell her how I really feel."

Stephen was visibly sweating. "We **are **going to die aren't we? Oh, god, we're gonna die. I'm gonna end up as lunch and Sex Bob-omb didn't even get to finish it's first real tour. We're gonna die, we're gonna die..."

Kurt looked at him. "Well, that's certainly not going to help the situation."

Stephen nodded numbly, shutting his mouth.

"I really appreciate you telling me this, Santana," Kurt said softly.

Santana was carefully controlling her emotions, though it seemed like she might crack, her lips quivering. "I should've talked with you sooner, Kurt. It's been eating me up all this time. I was just too afraid, criticizing you even though you've always been a lot braver than I was. I guess I just didn't want to get hurt."

"Hey..." Kurt replied gently, placing a hand on her knee. "You told me now. That's a first step."

"Yeah," Stills mumbled. "Possibly a first **and **last."

**SKIES OF LIMA  
**

The alien mothership wavered, then suddenly dropped.

**ATMOSPHERIC ATTACK VESSEL – ENGINE CHAMBER - SAME TIME**

Mercedes' world suddenly lost all sense of gravity. She and Scott were thrown into the air, flying toward the entrance of the engine chamber as the ship tipped.

Scott swung his sword of the power of love as they shot past the aliens there, carving through his adversaries with quick flourishes of his blade. There were sounds of shattering glass, more coins clattering to the hard floor, and Mercedes landed on her feet for but a moment before tumbling out the door. Scott hit the ground in a crouch. Two more aliens were ahead of him. He ran for them, sliding under the blue bolts of their energy rifles as they fired. He swing his sword twice, taking out their legs, and he ended up in the hallway on his back next to Mercedes.

They could still feel the ship falling. It tipped further, and Scott and Mercedes slid down the hall.

**LIMA SHOPPING MALL – PARKING LOT**

Ramona, Knives, Sue and Will all stood atop a small rise overlooking the mall's parking lot. The Herder sat amidst the rubble in deadly silence. Through cracks and holes in the structure of the building, they could see more of the hideous, tentacled creatures swarming all over the place.

"There's someone down there, isn't there?" Knives asked.

Ramona nodded. "Those monsters are looking for **something**."

Knives gulped. "There's so many of them, Ramona. We should go around."

"The problem isn't just going to go away, Knives," Ramona said quietly. "What if it was Scott down there? Or Kim or Wallace?"

"It could be one of my kids down there," Will said, agreeing. "We've got to see what we can do. It doesn't look like help is going to be here for awhile."

There was silence.

Sue stepped forward. "We only barely made it out of that last fiasco in one piece..." she looked at Will. "...no thanks to you, Schuester. I'd have to be barking mad to go down there. But if I'm going to do wrong, I'm going to do wrong right." She extended a hand to the flabbergasted Will. "It was good having you as my most hated adversary for the past year, William."

"Uh...thanks, I think," Will said, shaking her hand.

"It's an experience I'll likely never have again," Sue said, "much to my bitter disappointment."

Will smiled.

They ran down the hill and through the parking lot, dodging past the shape of the Herder and into the devastated food-court. The cries of the monsters greeted them.

**SKIES ABOVE LIMA**

The alien mothership plummeted toward the radio tower. The tower's apex plunged into the mothership's underside as it fell, skewering it. Metal tore, and the ship swung downward, held aloft by the top of the tower, like somebody had stabbed a tortilla with a fork and let it hang there afterward. The ship wasn't made of flour, though, and the tower was bending, beginning to lean. Windows shattered, showering the streets below with broken glass. Finally, the ship settled, the tower angled strangely and creaking ominously in the night.

**LIMA SHOPPING MALL – CUTTING EDGE**

The door to the backrooms was beginning to bend inward. The creatures outside could see their progress, and their efforts grew more hurried and eager. Their bodies slammed into the door with more force, jarring Santana, Kurt Stills.

Santana glanced over at Kurt. "Promise me something, Hummel. If I don't make it out of here, and you do, promise me that you'll tell her for me. Let her know that I cared for her more than anyone else could have."

Kurt shook his head. "Santana, don't say things like-"

She grabbed his arm with shocking force, her fingernails digging into his skin. "**Promise me**."

Kurt opened his mouth once, unsure of how to respond to a request of such magnitude. After a moment, he simply nodded.

**NEXT: THE END BEGINS**


End file.
